Zombie Threat Level Orange

Pathless · 08-11-2007, 05:06 AM

Thank Gawd for the PATRIOT Act and the resolve of our Beloved Patriarch, Kingfather Bush. Turns out there is a deadly new threat out there!! Just doing my PATRIOTic duty and lettin' y'all know:

Zombies will eat your kids.

I understand if this must be moved to the Politics section.

Paladin · 08-11-2007, 05:40 AM

"I always knew this day would come" he said, jacking a round into the chamber of his Ruger P-89 "Remember, aim for their heads, if they breach our lines, fall back and detonate the doomsday device" He turned and walked out the door into the pouring rain, never to be seen again...

flowperson · 08-11-2007, 06:15 PM

Paladin...better watch Night of the Living Dead a few times before "fixing" the problem. And I'd stay away from Haiti if I were you.

flow....

dauer · 08-12-2007, 02:35 AM

Zombies rule!

I had a friend in elementary school who was a zombie. Contrary to popular opinion they don't actually eat brain. They drink it after regurgitated digestive fluids have broken it down into a tasty sludge. He always brought the nastiest food to the caf. Must be a cultural thing. They put him in special ed but if you could get past all the moaning, rotting and the slow-motion hobbling he was actually pretty nice. I lost track of him in middle school. His dad got transferred to a new company branch in Montreal.

Pathless · 08-12-2007, 02:40 AM

lol.

No doubt zombies are people, too. And hey, with the miracles of stem cell technology, we could probably meet and even exceed the demand for brain slushies once money is diverted from the War on Zombies and some of it channeled into stem-cell research. Also, putting some of the War on Zombies money into education and new training for educators would probably keep future generations of zombie children from being stigmatized and unnecessarily stunted in their academic development. I hear that there is a real problem with over-prescribing ritalin to zombie kids. Ridiculous!! It only increases the spaced-out-edness and the drooling problem (although I do hear it helps to curb the appetite for brains).

Muslimwoman · 08-12-2007, 04:08 AM

I wonder if I can remember the Thriller dance? (Yes I am that old and I used to know the whole dance - so sad).

08-11-2007, 05:06 AM	#1 (permalink)
Pathless gains the more he gives Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Earth Posts: 2,072	Zombie Threat Level Orange Thank Gawd for the PATRIOT Act and the resolve of our Beloved Patriarch, Kingfather Bush. Turns out there is a deadly new threat out there!! Just doing my PATRIOTic duty and lettin' y'all know: Zombies will eat your kids. I understand if this must be moved to the Politics section.

08-11-2007, 05:40 AM	#2 (permalink)
Paladin Freethinker Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado Posts: 918	Re: Zombie Threat Level Orange "I always knew this day would come" he said, jacking a round into the chamber of his Ruger P-89 "Remember, aim for their heads, if they breach our lines, fall back and detonate the doomsday device" He turned and walked out the door into the pouring rain, never to be seen again...

08-11-2007, 06:15 PM	#3 (permalink)
flowperson Oannes Join Date: May 2006 Location: SW United States Posts: 2,613	Re: Zombie Threat Level Orange Paladin...better watch Night of the Living Dead a few times before "fixing" the problem. And I'd stay away from Haiti if I were you. flow....

08-12-2007, 02:35 AM	#4 (permalink)
dauer Super Moderator Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Near Boston Posts: 1,913	Re: Zombie Threat Level Orange Zombies rule! I had a friend in elementary school who was a zombie. Contrary to popular opinion they don't actually eat brain. They drink it after regurgitated digestive fluids have broken it down into a tasty sludge. He always brought the nastiest food to the caf. Must be a cultural thing. They put him in special ed but if you could get past all the moaning, rotting and the slow-motion hobbling he was actually pretty nice. I lost track of him in middle school. His dad got transferred to a new company branch in Montreal.

08-12-2007, 02:40 AM	#5 (permalink)
Pathless gains the more he gives Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Earth Posts: 2,072	Re: Zombie Threat Level Orange lol. No doubt zombies are people, too. And hey, with the miracles of stem cell technology, we could probably meet and even exceed the demand for brain slushies once money is diverted from the War on Zombies and some of it channeled into stem-cell research. Also, putting some of the War on Zombies money into education and new training for educators would probably keep future generations of zombie children from being stigmatized and unnecessarily stunted in their academic development. I hear that there is a real problem with over-prescribing ritalin to zombie kids. Ridiculous!! It only increases the spaced-out-edness and the drooling problem (although I do hear it helps to curb the appetite for brains).

08-12-2007, 04:08 AM	#6 (permalink)
Muslimwoman Coexistence insha'Allah Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Egypt Posts: 2,574	Re: Zombie Threat Level Orange I wonder if I can remember the Thriller dance? (Yes I am that old and I used to know the whole dance - so sad).

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