Susma Rio Sep:
I have had the fortune of sitting with several people as they are dying. If I am understanding your questions, which I am interpreting as how to ease someone's passing, I can give you some resources and my personal experience. Hospice is a wonderful system that allows the person to die relatively inexpensively at home. The Zen Hospice Project (
http://www.zenhospice.org/) is available in some places. Another interesting source is Stephen Levine's book "Who Dies? An Investigation of Conscious Living and Conscious Dying." My experience with death is that a person, Buddhist or not, become ready to die. In all of my experiences (with Christians) someone visits them either in a dream or if they are medicated in their "awake" stake. It is usually someone who's gone before them that they trust ... almost a guide to the afterlife. I also found people to get very calm before they go. In all cases, the person had the chance to see almost all (if not all) of their loved ones before submitting to death. Presence is the most powerful thing you can give anyone about to die. And giving them permission to let go. My mother did that for her mother, who was suffering dreadfully. (It is a scene that I will never forget. It showed me so clearly that our lives are self-willed ...).
Another odd phenomenon for me anyway ... those who have died have visited me on the night of their death. Real or imagined? I don't know. The common myth from my culture is that the dead hang around for 40 days after their death to visit their relations and close old business.
Interesting stuff ...
With metta,
ZW
p.s. I like this one best ...
"Life as we
Find it - death too.
A parting poem?
Why insist?"
-Ta-hui Tsung-kao