What Is Wrong With Polygamy???

[truthseeker]

Hello All,

It's been awhile - I still recognize some names though. I hope all is well with everyone.

Last week in Eldorado, TX, authorities raided a polygamist compound run by Fundamentalist Church of Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The man running the compound is called Prophet Warren Jeffs. He has been sentenced 5 years to life because he has married young girls (as young as 14 years) to their first cousins and old men.

Now, I understand that state laws have certain age limitations for marriage and sex and that a man can only have one legal wife at a time, but there were alot of negative comments about this polygamist sect, as if it is a sickness. I say this to say that although not every man does it, but most men will have a wife and a woman on the side and maybe 2 others that he entertains or allow to entertain him. If all the women are satisfied with sharing this one man, then why does everyone else have a problem with it? I personally don't care to share my personal space with another woman, but I don't knock a woman who is okay with sharing her man. And I'll also add that I think it funny that a man would use the bible to endorse his right to have more than one wife, yet does not have the resources to provide for these wives and the children that come out of it.

[path_of_one]

I personally think there is nothing wrong with polygamy (in terms of ethics). Polygamy is found in the Bible and is not condemned. Paul said (if I remember correctly) for each man to take one wife, but he also said to stay single if you possibly can. I have complicated views on Paul, so I'll not get into it, but suffice it to say I don't think the one man/one woman thing is the only ethical type of marriage.

That said, I think there is a lot wrong with polygamy as it is practiced in Warren Jeffs' sect. The biggest issues to me:

• Girls are married off at too young an age to consent.
• Girls are not educated completely or given freedom to choose their own lives.
• Girls' only option of escape is literally to run away through a socially underground system, similar to when slaves used to escape.
• Young men are often unable to marry, because old men are appointed young girls, leaving a deficit of women.

Basically, there's a lot of power issues going on in that sect, and it is more or less like a cult. I've seen some interviews with girls that ran away and they spoke of corporal punishment, forced marriage (which also then translates to rape) at a young age, etc. Human rights issues abound.

If polygamy is truly between consenting adults, I have no issues with it. When it is based on a lack of women's rights and choices, that's when I think it's ethically a problem.

[seattlegal]

One problem with polygamy is that when women live together, their menstrual cycles will synchronize, and the polygamist will wind up dealing with PMS in full stereo surround sound.

[greymare]

I dont share.

[wil]

I don't have issues with polygamy.

As long as it is a personal decision and not dictated by others.

ie the women and men both decide for themselves the relationship.

and as long as everyone agrees what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

[gp1628]

Everything has its pros and cons. Polygamy has many people who swear by it as a wonderful thing. If a man can support multiple wives then some believe he should be able to have multiple wives.

But you will notice that the present raid on that compound is not based on polygamy. That compound is now hundreds of buildings and has been around for a long time. Its been known all along that it was a polygamy compound. The raids now are based on the report of an underage girl saying she was forced into marriage. Its a child-welfare raid which is a good thing.

On the other hand....
Its starting to smell abit. The entire compound raided, everyone rousted out, for what is apparently an anonymous call. They cant find the girl who made the call. She has had plenty of chances to run forward and say "thank you for saving me". And I find it surprising that with 133 women and 401 children that there are so few complaints. In the world outside of the compound a random sampling of that many women would find many reporting abuse.
Domestic violence - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[truthseeker]

Originally Posted by path_of_one

If polygamy is truly between consenting adults, I have no issues with it. When it is based on a lack of women's rights and choices, that's when I think it's ethically a problem.

Rich men are few and men who need "help meet" are plenty. I know men who use Solomon all the time to defend their right to have one wife. The difference between these men and Solomon was that Solomon was a king - what woman isn't attracted to that?!? Besides, it appears to me that whatever Solomon lay with he just put it in the house. He brought down the whole kingdom with his lack of self control. Anyhow, I understand as well that sometimes a woman is not able to fullfill her role as a wife and a man may have to take on another. It sounds archaic but to each his own. What happens when a man isn't able to fullfill his role as a husband?!? There is so much responsibility put on the role of a wife . . .

Where in the world does a woman take on more than one husband?!?

[Tao_Equus]

I think that sect is clearly dubious and as Path says the ethics of forced marriage at a young age is clearly an issue.

In our modern and liberal way of doing things I think it is perhaps time things were turned on there head. I want 3 or 4 wives who support me!! In return I would not work, (to keep up my energy of course), and provide basic masculine duties. Any pretty ladies interested?

Ta

[seattlegal]

Originally Posted by Tao_Equus

I think that sect is clearly dubious and as Path says the ethics of forced marriage at a young age is clearly an issue.

In our modern and liberal way of doing things I think it is perhaps time things were turned on there head. I want 3 or 4 wives who support me!! In return I would not work, (to keep up my energy of course), and provide basic masculine duties. Any pretty ladies interested?

Ta

Oh boy! Another child to raise.

[Faithfulservant]

the reason for the raid was because a 16 yo called in and said she'd been sexually assaulted so the state went in and removed the children.

Officials confirm 2 arrests at West Texas polygamist compound 12:27 PM CT | Dallas Morning News | News for Dallas, Texas | Texas Regional News

CPS takes custody of 401 children from Texas polygamist compound | Dallas Morning News | News for Dallas, Texas | Texas Regional News

[Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine]

The guys are talking about polygyny (is that a word?), but what I'm curious about is polyandry (again, is that a word?).

What if there was a region where there were 35 men for every marriage-age woman? Shouldn't she be allowed to take as many husbands as she wants? Each guy would contribute to the financial stability of the "family unit" while the gal would contribute any way she d*mn well pleases.

Sorry about this (the :kitty:s are in the mail.)

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

[path_of_one]

Originally Posted by Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

The guys are talking about polygyny (is that a word?), but what I'm curious about is polyandry (again, is that a word?).

Yes, and yes. Polyandry is relatively rare in the world, but does exist in some societies (or did). Tibet and Nepal are famous examples in anthropology lit. It is most common in areas where there is a shortage of women and often goes along with an economy that leaves most of the men traveling for much of the time. In Tibet, a woman would sometimes marry a whole family of brothers, in practice being married to the oldest brothers (generally only one of whom was around at any given time) and raising the youngest brothers with her own children.

I think polygyny is far more common for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that women are the reproductive bottleneck. A guy can sire tons of kids, but a woman can only have one (generally) at a time. In agricultural societies, it makes sense economically to have a polygynous household. The more wives you have, the more kids you have. The more of both of those you have, the more fields you can tend and the more flocks you can raise and the richer you become. It's an economy of scale thing. This is compounded by lots of wars and such that kill off a good chunk of the male population, leaving women without other options. In traditional societies with gendered division of labor, you just can't function as a woman without a husband... although if you outlasted your husband and raised a son as first wife, oftentimes you got a fair bit of power... so long as you raise your son to defer to mom. In many of these societies, women do not choose their husbands or marry for love, so I can see how some or many of those women might be happy to get more wives and offload some of their responsibilities. I know if I hadn't picked my own husband, I'd want more wives ASAP to get him the heck out of my hair. LOL Plus, if the women cooperate, they can sometimes gang up on hubby, who otherwise generally has most of the power.

In modern polygyny in the U.S., you get two main types: the first being this sect type stuff that enculturates the kids to go along with it and the second being the exact opposite- free-wheeling folks that have alternative households because it's what works for them. These types of households are sometimes polygynous with a mix of women that wanted a career and built-in child care and women who wanted to be SAHMs and not worry about finances. One dude and one or two women will have careers and the others will stay home and cook dinner and raise the kids, so everyone gets what they want. I guess that'd work well if you weren't particularly in love with your husband and/or didn't care if you had exclusivity. Some other households are neither polygynous nor polyandrous, but what some term "polyamorous"- households that may comprise any mix of women and men that are in a group marriage, often allowing bisexual individuals to have long-term exclusive relationships with both genders.

I think it's interesting that polygamy in modern U.S. societies comes from the two polar opposites of the liberal-conservative spectrum, for entirely different reasons.

[seattlegal]

Originally Posted by path_of_one

I know if I hadn't picked my own husband, I'd want more wives ASAP to get him the heck out of my hair.

ROFLMAO!

I can really see that happening, though, especially in forced marriage situations.

[greymare]

whilst it would be nice to have a "sister" to talk about things with, (thats why we have freinds). If i had a husband i wouldnt share him with another woman (or man) LOL. If i had a husband and he wanted another, well, fine but i would be GONE and he could have his other.

[greymare]

and the thought of having more than one husband is just a little bit scary to me. I can only envision that it would work for me if one was a Carpenter, another was an Electrician, perhaps a plumber, and landscape gardener would be nice as well. oh and then there would have to be the "spunky" one that you would take out in public, of course. LOL.
in reality it would be like having a house full of hormonal teenagers all fighting over the computer, the xbox and the remote control for the tv. no thanks. Id run away from home. LOL