Weird things are happening to me, what does it mean?

[greymare]

I went to my daughter inlaws hens night a few weeks ago. It was fun. maybe creepy for her having mother in law there but we get along really well and Im a bit of a rager. LOL. We went clubbing with her friends. Saw some hot guys and had a giggle. girly stuff.

[Still thinking]

I've never heard the term "hen's night" - must be a British-ism, over here we call 'em bachelorette parties. Ha, ha!

[path_of_one]

Yeah, it took me a minute to get it too. LOL Must be a British vs. American terminology thing. I can't stand bachelorette parties. I find them boring and embarrassing. And besides, I've never found a guy hotter than my husband. That kind of takes the fun out of going out to see hot guys.

[Francis king]

hello nevermind, welcome to CR...

I have been here for a while now, and am always happy to meet new folks...

don't worry about writing lengthy posts- some of mine run to pages! just like this one does!

anyway, in response to ur post...

it seems to me that so far, based on a few isolated incidents which other ppl would probably brush off as mere conincidences you have created a belief system so strong that the force of your will effects God- and God does your bidding... lol..

...for you it started when you were 12... you were desperate for a miracle, and filled with a childs' love of God, you sound like you were troubled at the time, and you feel you willed something to happen so you could leave class... that fire alarm going off had nothing to do with God, or with you, and was simply a coincidence... it felt like God was answering your prayers as at that time your head was filled with God, and a child's God at that...

...yes, you researched things, but what does that do? It reinforces your belief... that's all it does... it helps you to convince yourself that God is listening, specifically to little you, and that makes whatever you experience seem a little easier to bear...

that's not a sin, though; a lot of ppl think in the same way, about similiar things...

so then, a few years later, you recieved another answer to a prayer- you asked for a sign, and started with the pig hiccups... lol... again, a lot of ppl would brush this off as a coincidence, but you convince yourself it's another sign...

as for evidence of biblical accuracy... there is none... the bible itself, and also the fundamental beliefs about what it is to be a christian and what a christian should believe have changed significantly several times over the course of christian history, and that is the only fact we can actually be sure of. There is no proof of Jesus, apart from this book, the bible, and if you have ever heard of things like the "gnostic gospels" you will see that the bible has been compiled and altered a good few times, by different ppl with different agendas... only the most rabid fundamentalists would believe otherwise... why do you think there is so much diversity within christianity? because ppl change things to suit themselves...

then, you went over to explore the orthodox christian ideas, and found them more plausible- they all belonged to the same catholic school once, though! Some beliefs of the overall church were considered wrong by some bishops- the other sides bishops wanted to keep them- the resulting mess is called a "schism".

That you find another belief system more plausible than the one you were previously convinced was great is an encouraging sign, and certainly nothing to be ashamed of- it shows that as you are growing your ideas too are growing, you are refining your own belief system, rather than just be a sheep- and I commend you for that. I would say though, don't be too quick to believe anything is better than what you had before- it's just a little different. Exotic things always seem more facinating, at first, because you are not familiar with them. Once you know these new ways of thinking inside out, then you will probably abandon them too!

That's not a sin either!

As for the sleep paralysis... I get it too... horrible business. It sometimes happens when ppl are stressed out or have experienced psychological or physical trauma, but it can also be related to some psychiatric and neurological conditions, so it is wise to get it checked out, even if you check it out only to understand it better.

People with sleep paralysis also oftentimes attribute this paralysis with religion- and that's why over the years we have our demonic possession and angelic guidance references- in truth though, it has nothing to do with God- there is just a glitch in your system-the rest is you!

So, now you are looking into Krsna consciousness, but ooh! What trouble it is causing you psychologically...

it's called congitive dissonance. You view yourself in a certain way- ie, a protestant christian, and although you have looked at other branches of christianity you have always thought of yourself as a christian.

But, if you like the Krsna stuff, then surely you can't be a christian after all!

AHHHH!

This, then, is cognitive dissonance- how you are thinking does not correspond to the person you feel you are, and it will make you uncomfortable. Add to this all those other things you have been told by Christianity, about heathens, and false idols, etc, and wham! you feel bad, evil even, and this triggers the sleep paralysis...

I do not think these signs are from God, and that God wants you to be an orthodox christian. I think this is what you think instead. The SP is happenning because you have conditioned yourself to think certain things about yourself, and when you try to take a detour from this it screws you up.

If what you think is true, and it is God, forcing you to behave in a certain way and think certain things what kind of God is this? Is he worthy of you?

Then you ask... "Am I slightly mad?" and tell us that "Much of the time I'm not enthusiastic about my spirituality and don't think about it, then I'll have bouts lasting no more than a week of being fiercely curious and relishing it. I've been that way the whole time".

And that changes things completely... Prior to that, I was reading your post and thought- aww.. I've been there... this poster is about 19, maybe, and they are growing up, spiritually, and making some committments to God, and becoming a little fanatical, maybe, but it's worrying to hear that most of the time you don't give much of it any thought and then- wham! a week or so of intense spirituality... knowing about the SP and this new information, I would suspect you may have some form of psychiatric condition.

A lot of ppl with bi-polar disorder and psychotic disorders can be intensely spiritual while they are in crisis, and I also think I came across two other important symptoms which usually occur in such instances, and they are... you guessed it, sleep paralysis and what is known as "temporal lobe epilepsy". This TLE is described as a sensation within the body, like being flooded with light, or God, and scientists reckon it is often the result of what they call a "serotonin cascade"- a feel good chemical in your brain pumps out a lot of stuff and bingo, u feel all blissed out and tingly, and a lot of ppl attribute this, not to a disorder, but to God...

You should also, if u are a woman, which I suspect you are, see if these periods of intense spirituality are connected to your cycle- sometimes sensitivity to estrogen can radically alter a person's moods, making them either depressed, or angry, or manic, and that could be another plausible explanation, especially if you are not so high and religious that you for instance, think you are a holy being or have other symptoms, such as great depression, or hearing voices, or withdrawing from the world and spending a lot of time alone, or giving all your money away to the church or speeding in your car or taking lots of drugs...

I say all this because... I have TLE, and SP, and yet, I think about God, and how it plays out, every day. I too see signs everywhere; and attribute some of them to God. Some people think I am a schizophrenic. I prefer to think of myself as a saint. Not a biblical saint, of course, not some great being, but just a human being who has been touched by God.

I pray every day, several times a day. I pray for family and friends, ppl in the newspapers, for ppl I sit next to on the bus... does it help them?

Of course we like to think YES, but most likely the answer is NO... yes, we create some good feeling for ourself, yes we create some compassion for others, but if God listened to our prayers the world would be a different place...

so, then, if I do not believe God works like that, why do I pray?

I pray because I have faith, and my faith, maybe like yours, is based on a load of preconceived notions as to how God is, how everything plays out, what is right and wrong, which God and which belief system may be best, etc etc...

but that is not a sin, either... most ppl who have faith speak of similiar things... their faith comes from these small signs, believing in miracles, etc...

with faith, and with love, comes choices... I do not think God cares too much how I dress, so long as I treat ppl like my brothers...I do not think God cares which faith system or which tenets I adopt, and I do not think God cares so much whether I get drunk and dance all night- I think he instead is concerned about whether I am a good drunk or a bad drunk.

Like drunks, nutters can be good and bad. If you are crazy, like me, then it is better to be religious and crazy than be crazy and irreligious. And the main reason for that is... religion is generally a place where morals and ethics and decency are important, and within religion there is guidance on how to live. If you are in a crisis, then it is good to have a safety net, in God, or in a firm belief system.

You will not decend into psychosis and run into the supermarket with a gun and shoot ppl, you will not become manic and gamble your money away or get involved in risky sex, becuase no matter how bad it gets your belief in God will stop you doing it. Yes, you might still become psychotic, but if you sit at home in the quiet and read the bible for a bit, have something to eat and then sleep... things always look brighter then...

Of course, whether you would do these things anyway, with or without religion, depends on who you are... but if the limits of your madness so far involve reading a few religious books when you're feeling a little high, there's no need to worry too much about yourself just yet.

If, on the other hand, you are suspicious, paranoid, aggressive, so giggly that you can't hold a conversation or so desperate to talk that other ppl can't get a word in, you might have a problem.

A lot of ppl would be diagnosed with psychiatric conditions if you asked them certain questions about their belief systems. In psychology most ideas about God would be called "magical beliefs", most psychics would be considered psychotic. Imagine thinking God gave you signs. Imagine thinking that you can control the weather, or can see into the future, or can talk to the dead, or can heal ppl with thoughts, or by laying on hands. Usually the people who experience such things go to work, have families, get on with the business of life.

You are free to think what you like. It only becomes other people's buisness when you act irrationally and people don't know what to do with you.

If you think God has a plan for you, and maybe He/She/It does, then don't worry, be patient, and all will be revealed in time... if these religious ideas are screwing you up though, why go chasing rainbows? If God is what you say, He'll fix it, surely? People get driven mad by trying to be saints, but we are just people, after all. That's supposedly why Jesus came, to teach his omnipotent all powerful father that the buisness of being a good man in a bad world was hard... that being human was messy, and complex... Better to just aim to be a good person than worry about what kind of meat is God's favourite...

but that's just me!

[greymare]

francis,,,, thanks for the insight.

[path_of_one]

Excellent post, francis, especially with the detailed info on SP and TLE. I concur that the best thing for the SP is to get to a doctor and have it checked out.

As for craziness, I ask people if they are functional. Like in my case, no doubt some psychologists would say I am crazy for experiencing the world the way I do and having the beliefs I have. But I don't care, because I function fine. I get to work, pay my bills and taxes, take care of my house and animals, have good relationships, etc. I struggle with bouts of depression, but I've learned to recognize them and treat them with extra exercise, writing and art, and getting outside more often.

I always tell people, if you feel uncomfortable about your own thoughts and feelings, go to therapy and work it out. And if you aren't functional, get to a psychologist.

[Quahom1]

Originally Posted by path_of_one

Yeah, it took me a minute to get it too. LOL Must be a British vs. American terminology thing. I can't stand bachelorette parties. I find them boring and embarrassing. And besides, I've never found a guy hotter than my husband. That kind of takes the fun out of going out to see hot guys.

Umm, Grey is from Australia...

[Quahom1]

Originally Posted by nevermore

Hi, I'm new and need theories or suggestions or advice or something, or just comments but I can't keep it all locked in my own mind any longer. Any ideas anyone has about what's going on here, from any perspective would be very welcome. First the background; I'm sorry it's long.

I became a Protestant Christian when I was about 12, probably for stupid reasons. Soon though I did proper research into the arguments for it. I was interested in miracles, and used to seek out modern stories of them. Because Jesus said anything asked for in his name would be granted, once when I desperately wanted to escape a situation in school, in a class I did a silent prayer that something would cause that class to be interrupted so that what I feared wouldn't happen. For the first time I managed to force myself to believe it would happen, and felt peaceful afterwards. Some minutes later a fire alarm went of unexpectedly and we had to leave and follow the protocol until the lesson was scheduled to be over. My belief was firmer after that.

A couple of years later I heard of the belief that Old Testament laws should still be kept, such as not eating pork. I had vegetarian ideals by then, but was still eating meat when I was given it for dinner. I asked God to somehow show me if that was true or not. Soon afterwards that same day, I developed a strange hiccup that sounded just like a pig's noise. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I didn't actually make the connection until my mum or sister pointed out that it sounded like one.

These incidents, along with the evidence of Biblical accuracy presented on websites, are what have kept me broadly 'Christian' until now. Then earlier this year, I found some doubts were niggling too much too ignore, and found some Eastern/Oriental Orthodox Christian views of those issues. I found them more plausible than either Protestant or RC views, and from what I could tell online, the people were much more sensible and secure about their beliefs than any Christians I'd seen before, without being any less serious about them or appearing irrationally selective.

The night I decided to think of myself as more Orthodox than Protestant felt strange, because I knew the Protestant view was that non-protestants would go to Hell. I had been having episodes of sleep paralysis every month for a while, and had decided that in my case, the 'associated experiences' were hallucinatory, not spiritual or demonic, unlike the stories some people tell that can't be explained by hallucinations or scientists' current theories about it. At that point I though mine were just things my part-awake part-asleep brain conjured up. Then that night I had one involving a tall figure I couldn't see from my position, I sensed standing in a 'T' position at my feet, which moved down on top of me, so that a tingling sensation overtook my body as if it was inside me. I heard what I assumed was the being whispering something about something 'in the water'. I had learned to keep quite calm, and it was later when I realised that I'd had no episodes since that I wondered if it had been an angel, ending the attacks as a gesture that my decision was a good one and refering to my concerns about water baptism. This was in June, and I had no more sleep paralysis until November. I couldn't decide whether something was the right thing to do and started to fall asleep with it bothering me. I was woken by the sensations of something suggesting what I had been thinking about in an unpleasant context while paralysed, and supposed I was being warned.

Then no more, until last night. Yesterday I had the biggest crisis of faith ever, as the things that I had been able to explain away in long-winded speculative ways suddenly seemed insurmountable. Earlier that day I researched Hare Krishna beliefs and practices and thought I preferred their attitude to those things, although I couldn't immediately see any empirical reasons for their concrete beliefs, unlike with Christianity. From early this morning I was reminded of the feeling of waking to paralysis and laboured breathing, falling asleep, waking to it again ad nauseum. At least I wasn't aware of other activity around me this time.

What concerns me is that it's as if I'm being encouraged towards Orthodox Christianity; when I adopt it, the SP stops, when I come close to abandoning it, it starts again. Is this God pointing me in the right direction? I really have trouble understanding some of the attitudes of the Christian God, especially in the Old Testament. I can't reconcile them with other things claimed about Him. Or, could there be other supernatural powers at work, messing with me. That one in particular might explain how it seems that all three major Christian denominations along with Islam seem to demonstrate apparent miracles and exorcisms that I can't easily dismiss, despite their significant differences. Am I slightly mad? I actually find this the kindest possibility. Much of the time I'm not enthusiastic about my spirituality and don't think about it, then I'll have bouts lasting no more than a week of being fiercely curious and relishing it. I've been that way the whole time. Perhaps something is happening in my brain chemistry that's affecting both my sense of spiritualism and my tendency to SP, or if the unique combination of emotion surrounding conversion affects SP. I don't know if that would explain though how one time, a conversion experience is followed by a ceasing of it, and another time is followed by its return. I don't know enough about the brain to say, and I don't think anyone does.

I'd really like a sceptical/atheist perspective as well as every spriritual one possible. Don't be afraid of offending me in any way, please just be honest; I'm scared of what may happen in the night and when I die, and a bit fed up with the whole thing. I'm tired of thinking of alternative explanations only after becoming invested in one or another.

Thanks in advance.

Lol I don't care what religion or faith you choose. But your heart is telling you to get with your creator (the laws are written in every man's heart). If your soul or heart is an empty room, it is in a vaccuum, and nature ahbores a vaccuum, so something is going to come into it. Your subconscious it warning you to find something to fill it before something you don't want, fills it.

Forget faiths, and religions. Get on your knees and ask God to guide you in the direction you are supposed to go. And ask Him to accompany you while you find your way...(very important). Since God is a personal type, He'll be happy to spend time with you.

Here is how personal He is: One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there were one set of footprints. This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints. So I said to the Lord, "You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there have only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?" The Lord replied, "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand, is when I carried you." Mary Stevenson

[path_of_one]

Originally Posted by Quahom1

Umm, Grey is from Australia...

I know- but I've noticed Australians seem to share a lot of their vocabulary with the British. Whereas we Americans are farther off that course. Australian English seems to be more like British English, whereas American English is kind of off in its own little world.

[Quahom1]

Originally Posted by path_of_one

I know- but I've noticed Australians seem to share a lot of their vocabulary with the British. Whereas we Americans are farther off that course. Australian English seems to be more like British English, whereas American English is kind of off in its own little world.

Ooooooo you are going to get it. And Grey is on the serving side. (lol)

[path_of_one]

LOL- I know, I know. It's not like I'm saying the Australians are more like the British than we are. I'm saying the Australians SOUND more like British accents than we do. I happen to love both of their accents and I wish I had one, much more prefereable than the California slight-valley-speak thing I have going on.

I am digging myself a grave, aren't I?

[Quahom1]

Originally Posted by path_of_one

LOL- I know, I know. It's not like I'm saying the Australians are more like the British than we are. I'm saying the Australians SOUND more like British accents than we do. I happen to love both of their accents and I wish I had one, much more prefereable than the California slight-valley-speak thing I have going on.

I am digging myself a grave, aren't I?

It's not a "grave" until the first hand full of dirt is thrown on top of you...

[path_of_one]

Originally Posted by Quahom1

It's not a "grave" until the first hand full of dirt is thrown on top of you...

LOL, I suppose now is when I start asking grey to please not pick up any dirt. LOL

[Quahom1]

Originally Posted by path_of_one

LOL, I suppose now is when I start asking grey to please not pick up any dirt. LOL

she's a prim and proper Sheela. She'll give you weigh.

[greymare]

are you guys talking about me.???? And FYI we dont have an accent YOU LOT DO! lol. Yeah, Q, Im prim and proper. ha. Fair Dinkum (no pom says that). We have our own language. OZ. LOL. I never give it a thought that we would be closer (colloquially) to those poms, but I didnt think we are closer to you yanks either. LOL. Its all good. We all know that you guys wanna come here for holidays and to live, so I cant blame you being just a little bit jealous of our wonderful country. (Im reading too much into it, arent I ). LOL.
Oh, Path, Ive got enought dirt of my own, baby. LOL