Saudi Marriage 'Expert' Advises Men in 'Right Way' to Beat Their Wives

[madeinrussia89]

Originally Posted by greymare

yeah, i know but i would have felt better. LOL. you should be MAIDin russia then maybe they would catch on. LOL. Self control. Men, have no idea. Its ok because I discovered the best way to win is to have a wonderful life. and that is what I have now. . I have friends. I work.I even have a house. I dont worry;about police raiding our place. (nothing illegal here). I can have an opinion and even if its wrong it doesnt matter because its mine therefore its valid. I love life. and from what Ive heard, he is a drug f/cked idiot waitin to go to trial for something again. dont care. good ridance. LOL sucks to be him.

That really is the best way to win, to be the better person. See, with or without that possible homicide, he's got a lot of **** to deal with, and now you have no blood on your hands. Good deal. Self control pays off.

[Quahom1]

Originally Posted by greymare

Thwakkkkkkkk

I caught that. And I walk away, after...

[madeinrussia89]

Originally Posted by Quahom1

It doesn't matter, you've made your mark, and are a force to be reckoned with...

That doesn't make me sound like Lucifer or anything.

[greymare]

no no devilwoman, maybe, but still I like ya

[greymare]

you know, if i couldn trust a man maybe I could trust his judgement. but for now Ill just have to trust ME.

[madeinrussia89]

Originally Posted by greymare

no no devilwoman, maybe, but still I like ya

In my defense, it is very late, and I have had a lot of caffeine.

[greymare]

in MY defence It is late and I have had not nearly enough whiskey

[Saltmeister]

Originally Posted by greymare

OK Salty, first ok, I accept that you were speculating about a different kind of person. ( I too have learnt something, I didnt know that kind of personality existed.) so, Im sorry if I went off the handle at your posts. Lets build a bridge and get over it OK? Ive put my past way bedhind me and I am a new and improved person. so lets be friends. K?

Hey, grey. Where did you get the idea I was fighting you?

I was just saying what life was like for men, particularly the vulnerable type, which doesn't go into life purposely picking fights. If I was the predatorial type I would probably say a few things to "bash" women, but I was just telling you a few things about how "some" of us think so you can bond and connect with and understand us. Not trying to be predatorial there. We don't normally express ourselves much and I was just giving you a snapshot of what the life story of a man was like.

Of course, there was a bit of sensationalism and I might have been a bit "provocative" here and there. But it was meant to be more like a "friendly" way of describing how a man's life is like to me. It's hard to make that known with electronic communication. How does one convey feeling in text?

I was afraid, at some point that you might have thought of me as one of those "male chest beaters" and seen me as one of the "unfriendly, predatorial" kind of man. I don't have much of a chest to beat, though. I don't talk about how "good" men are. I don't feel a need to compete with or control women. I'm quite happy letting women take control, as long as I can still realise my own dreams. I'm not at war with women. Women can get as much power and influence as they like. I'm only at war with people who hurt my feelings. But it's a defensive war. I don't attack them. It's more about being misunderstood and finding ways to deal with misunderstandings.

I'm not sure what impression you got of me out of all that. I just thought it might be interesting to tell my story. Hey, what picture did I paint?

Originally Posted by greymare

LOVE the Grey

lol yes. Love the white too!!!

Originally Posted by madeinrussia89

I've got a question. Are wives allowed to " lightly beat " their husbands if they get out of line? Or do you just threaten to cut off sex and that is punishment enough?

I have never actually heard Muslims saying wives should "lightly beat" their husbands, though if there's nothing said about that, it's probably allowed. I heard once though, from a friend who had had a discussion with a Muslim one time, that a woman is supposed to agree to have sex with a man every time he asks for it.

My personal view on these two views (not to do with Islam) -- for non-Muslim/possibly Western couples; maybe those Muslims out there could use this for comparison:

Lightly beating your husband? I suppose examples might include slapping him in the face (to embarrass and disgrace him) or punching/smacking him in the shoulder (a reprimand). That's ok with me. I'm ok with women expressing anger and discontent. It's good for you women to assert yourselves. Just do it with love. If we're embarrassed or hurt we don't express it. That said, it's quite possible for you to do emotional damage without knowing it.

Most importantly, you don't have to treat us as evil, pompous and arrogant villains all the time. We don't see ourselves that way.

Cutting off sex? Probably not a good idea. A lot of men have an emotional need for sex. It's just something they've gotta have. Otherwise it just ruins their day. Punishment? That's obviously a way of "attacking" or "threatening" him. That's just going to make the relationship worse. You're trying to get something that you want by pounding someone into submission. If both people do this throughout a relationship, they're going to have a long history of unresolved pains and hurts.

This is what makes us predators. You attack the other person in some way and threaten them, knowing their weaknesses and what's important to them. It's either physical or emotional damage.

He could, eventually, get violent because of a lot of the pain welling up inside. Or worse still . . . cheat on you with another woman. A good way to sabotage a relationship. A benefit may be that it could set you free from the man you don't love anymore.

I guess we'll wait for the answers . . .

Originally Posted by Quahom1

Until exactly one hour ago, I thought you were a man, Russky.

You thought she was a man? How could you?

Up until an hour ago I believed she was a woman. I had felt something faintly feminine in her posts until then. Something about the way madeinrussia expressed its views. Then when I was reading the posts in this forum, wasn't so sure anymore. I think she started to become subtle there. She was curious. She knew her identity wasn't all that clear . . . so she decided to find out what we really thought. Yeah that game was fun. Can we play again?

But anyway . . . the name. Doesn't it sound like a name a girl would use? I'm made in .......? Why would a man/boy say he's made in XXXX? That just sounds pansy.

[Farooq Ahmad Peer]

Let this also be known that the holy prophet forbade wife beating at one point of time. The prophet also advised a women not to marry a person who was a wife beater. The admonition is permitted only when a wife shows arrogance in the matters of faith and not for any other purpose.

[Quahom1]

Originally Posted by Saltmeister

But anyway . . . the name. Doesn't it sound like a name a girl would use? I'm made in .......? Why would a man/boy say he's made in XXXX? That just sounds pansy.

HI! I'm Q I'm MADEINTHEUSA...and I'm not a pansy...(lol)

[Quahom1]

Originally Posted by Farooq Ahmad Peer

Let this also be known that the holy prophet forbade wife beating at one point of time. The prophet also advised a women not to marry a person who was a wife beater. The admonition is permitted only when a wife shows arrogance in the matters of faith and not for any other purpose.

In Christianity, the rule is to let the unbelieving "spouse" go, IF he/she chooses to go, but if not then to keep the marriage whole and live the example so by example the unbelieving spouse may come to the faith...there is no beating allowed with spouses...only errant children.

[madeinrussia89]

I was kidding about lightly beating, but generally women don't want to have sexual relations with someone we're disgusted with.

I personally wouldn't hesistate to refuse him (but not on a regular basis), but that's just me. And if it does ruin his day, then he will know what it feels like to the woman.

He could, eventually, get violent because of a lot of the pain welling up inside. Or worse still . . . cheat on you with another woman. A good way to sabotage a relationship. A benefit may be that it could set you free from the man you don't love anymore.

I absolutely agree that it's an excellent way to sabotage a relationship, or whatever is left of one.

Up until an hour ago I believed she was a woman. I had felt something faintly feminine in her posts until then. Something about the way madeinrussia expressed its views. Then when I was reading the posts in this forum, wasn't so sure anymore. I think she started to become subtle there. She was curious. She knew her identity wasn't all that clear . . . so she decided to find out what we really thought. Yeah that game was fun. Can we play again?

Well, I am indeed female, and I thought that was pretty much common knowledge (afterall, I have mentioned wearing a headscarf to church, more than once) until yesterday when I was referred to and spoken to like I was male.
That was hilarious on my end.

[madeinrussia89]

Originally Posted by Farooq Ahmad Peer

Let this also be known that the holy prophet forbade wife beating at one point of time. The prophet also advised a women not to marry a person who was a wife beater. The admonition is permitted only when a wife shows arrogance in the matters of faith and not for any other purpose.

How did they know if someone was a wifebeater or not if they hadn't had any previous wives?

[Quahom1]

Originally Posted by madeinrussia89

I was kidding about lightly beating, but generally women don't want to have sexual relations with someone we're disgusted with.

I personally wouldn't hesistate to refuse him (but not on a regular basis), but that's just me. And if it does ruin his day, then he will know what it feels like to the woman.



I absolutely agree that it's an excellent way to sabotage a relationship, or whatever is left of one.





Well, I am indeed female, and I thought that was pretty much common knowledge (afterall, I have mentioned wearing a headscarf to church, more than once) until yesterday when I was referred to and spoken to like I was male.
That was hilarious on my end.

funny as hell...

[Muslimwoman]

Originally Posted by Farooq Ahmad Peer

Let this also be known that the holy prophet forbade wife beating at one point of time. The prophet also advised a women not to marry a person who was a wife beater. The admonition is permitted only when a wife shows arrogance in the matters of faith and not for any other purpose.

assalaamu aleykum brother Farooq

I would be very interested to know when the Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) forbade wife beating and under what circumstances, as I have never heard this before.