Religion and humour

[bob x]

It was a divine sermon... for it was like the peace of God, which surpasses all human understanding.

It was a divine sermon... for it seemed, like the mercy of God, to endure forever.

It was a divine sermon... for it was like nothing in the heavens above, or the earth below, or the waters beneath the earth.

[China Cat Sunflower]

Q: What did Jesus say when he was up on the cross?

A: "Hey Peter, I can see your house from here!"

Chris

[Käthe]

http://www.turoks.net/Cabana/TheFirs...edReligion.htm

[Käthe]

As part of an Interfaith community project, A Christian priest, a rabbi, and a Pagan priestess decided that in order to improve relations in the community, they will go on a fishing trip together on a local pond. They're out in the boat, and the priestess excuses herself to go to the bathroom back on the shore. She gets out, walks across the water back to shore, and then walks back across the water to the boat.

The priest looks in amazement, crosses himself, and they continue fishing. It comes on about noon time, and the rabbi realizes they left their lunches back on shore. So he gets up, walks across the water to the shore, retrieves the lunches, and walks back across the water to the boat.

The priest, now completely amazed, and a little bit self-righteous, thinks "I'm not to be outdone by two heathens, I can do that too!" So he gets up, excuses himself to go to the bathroom, takes a step out of the boat and promptly sinks to the bottom.

While he's flailing around in the water, the rabbi looks at the priestess and says "Do you think we should have told him about the rocks?"

The priestess replies "What rocks?"

[Käthe]

"Toying" with Religion

http://www.turoks.net/Cabana/ToyingWithReligion.htm

[China Cat Sunflower]

Love the cartoon!

Chris

[bob x]

Yesterday was Easter Sunday.
That is when the tomb of Jesus opened, and a rabbit came out. Since he did not see his shadow, we will have nice weather!

[seattlegal]

Funny cut & paste from the Web:

The Bible According to Kids:
The cute statements below are said to have been written by actual
students and are genuine, authentic and not retouched or corrected:

In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the
world, so he took the Sabbath off.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.

Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.

Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.

Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble
with
the unsympathetic Genitals.

Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like
Delilah.

Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.

Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread
which is bread without any ingredients.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.Afterwards, Moses went up
on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

The fifth commandment is to humor thy father and mother.

The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

Moses died before he ever reached Canada.

Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand
still and he obeyed him.

David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.

He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical
times.


Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna
Carta.

When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in
the manager.

Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.

Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before
they do one to you.

He also explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone."

It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the
tombstone off the entrance.

The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.

The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is
another name for marriage.

A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

[miclason]

God has a sense of humor...my life is proof of that!...and, my daughter is LIVING proof of that!..somedays, I can almost hear "Him" laughing!

[lunamoth]

Originally Posted by miclason

God has a sense of humor...my life is proof of that!...and, my daughter is LIVING proof of that!..somedays, I can almost hear "Him" laughing!

Hi miclason, good to see you here again. And yes, God must have a sense of humor, as well as poetic justice sometimes.

cheers,
lunamoth