polygamy

[YO-ELEVEN-11]

I saw a talk show about the parctice of pologamy. According to some of the guests on the show, the practice was a lifestyle that they enjoyed. In America, the practice is "supposed" to be illegal, but people still practice it. Some of the guests on this talk show stated that it was part of their faith and others felt that the life style was beneficial to them in many ways other than just practicing it for reasons of faith alone.

Personally, I find nothing wrong with the practice as long as it is not abusive or it takes advantage of children. Also, personally, I would find it very difficult to have more than one partner. All the emotions that come with it probably would overwhealm me.

I would like to know if any one in this forum practices this lifestyle, and if so, for what reason? Any other thoughts on this practice are also welcome.

[Quahom1]

Considering that it is illegal in the US, I'm not certain anyone (there) would willingly admit to it. As to why it is illegal there, I'll have to research.

[Quahom1]

And the answer is, it is a main stream Christian edict, that was assumed by the forefathers that created the Constitution of the United States. Mormonsim was not around at the time the Constitution was created. In fact it did not appear until circa 1831. To that point in time, Christianity did not allow for polyandry/polygamy, ect, as it was considered a barbaristic practice. The "new Mormons", thought differently on the matter, yet do not openly do so as an official church body today.

Of course prostitution was not legal either, but it existed in the States...

[YO-ELEVEN-11]

Q, have you ever met anyone who practices that particular lifestyle?
Should it be illegal if all parties involved are grown and consent to it?
Some say prostitution should be legal, because if it were legal, it would be protected by the law and regulated to the point that some of the tragedies that occur in this field of "work" would not happen so often. i.e. the drugs and pimps etc..

[sara[h]ng]

To clarify a few things, it isn't that the main Mormon religion does not 'openly practice' polygamy, it is that it has been forbidden in the church for some time now. It is breakaway Mormon sects that still do this illegally, to the chagrin of that main church. It's like Islam and terrorism. True Muslims are not terrorists, it's the extremists who stick to it.

In that line, a very knowledgeable Mormon friend of mine told me that polygamy was originally practiced in the religion because there was a huge Mormon pilgrimage across the United States and they were trying to maintain and build their numbers, but that now that is no longer required and so it is no longer practiced.

However, if you read a non-Mormon biography of Joseph Smith, you find that he was a charismatic, attractive man who openly admitted to being somewhat of a nympho. In addition to that, the religion as he built it was based on his personal relationship with God, who would frequently send him new 'revelations'. This meant that Smith could change any rule any time he wanted and say that God told him to do it. That's how polygamy came into being, and that's how it went out, when Utah was trying to become a state and the federal government would allow it only if it dropped its polygamist ways. The elders said that they would comply, as they had received a revelation from God saying that this was the correct thing to do. (Note that they didn't do it voluntarily previous to the time where they had to, which debunks what my friend had been told by the church and what she told me.)

Of course, it there is very little literature out there that isn't coloured by either the Mormon church or by its opponents, so all of all of this has to be taken with a grain of salt and the truth is probably somewhere in the middle.

As to my personal beliefs on the practice, there are many potential issues that one could look at, but I think it can be summed in the fact that relatively worldly women, who are aware of monogamy and polygamy and different cultures and all of that, choose to keep their husbands for their own. And thus, the majority of women, given both choice and knowledge of their options, would do the same, and should not be forced, or brainwashed into thinking that they want, to do otherwise.


Sarah

[Quahom1]

Originally Posted by YO-ELEVEN-11

Q, have you ever met anyone who practices that particular lifestyle?
Should it be illegal if all parties involved are grown and consent to it?
Some say prostitution should be legal, because if it were legal, it would be protected by the law and regulated to the point that some of the tragedies that occur in this field of "work" would not happen so often. i.e. the drugs and pimps etc..

Not officially in the United States (unless you consider keeping a "mistress" a form of polygamy), but I have elsewhere (such as the South Pacific Islands).

If it were legalized, it might cause a pandora's box to be opened for other types of marriage, and would wreck a bit of havoc on the current social structure. It isn't something I really thought about on a personal level.

I have to backtrack a bit. Prostitution is legal in the US, well in Las Vegas, Nevada anyway. And it is regulated by the state authorities.

[Quahom1]

Originally Posted by sara[h]ng

To clarify a few things, it isn't that the main Mormon religion does not 'openly practice' polygamy, it is that it has been forbidden in the church for some time now. It is breakaway Mormon sects that still do this illegally, to the chagrin of that main church. Sarah

Hence my point about "new Mormons", as opposed to the main Mormon body (church).

[YO-ELEVEN-11]

Originally Posted by sara[h]ng

And thus, the majority of women, given both choice and knowledge of their options, would do the same, and should not be forced, or brainwashed into thinking that they want, to do otherwise.

On the Talk show, the stage was filled with women from monogamous relationships and also those who followed the polygamist lifestyle.
Their were some who had been in polygamists relationships that had left those relationships to be in monogamous relationships and went back to the polygamist relationships and vise versa.

At one point teenage girls whose mothers were in polygamists relationships were asked if they would want to be have that tpye of relationship when they grew up and most said they would prefer a polygamist relationship, some, however some said that they would not.

The interesting thing about the talk show was that the women in the polygamists relationships said that they felt they had an advantage over the women who were not. Also that they were free to leave anytime and were not in any way "coherresed" by thier spouse to stay in the polygamist relationship or felt that it was a "religious" requirement. Some even went as far as saying that they talked some of the men in their monogamous relationships to adopt a polygamist lifestyle. i.e. Inviting other women into the relationship. (not in a "sexual" way, but to enjoy a loving relationship in a polygamist household). Imagine that.

[wil]

I've known a couple of people over the years who maintained relationships with multiple partners living in the same home. All were there by choice, as I've moved away I know not if they are all still together. None of them were pologamysts I believe. In one relationship none were married. In another there was one married couple. In all relationships there were a number of children..

Prostitution is not legal in Vegas, Reno, or Carson City Nevada....but right at the county line there is a bustling business...and Nevada does love to tax its vices...gambling, alchohol, prostitution, cigarettes, divorces and ... er...wedding chapels.

[Quahom1]

Originally Posted by wil

I've known a couple of people over the years who maintained relationships with multiple partners living in the same home. All were there by choice, as I've moved away I know not if they are all still together. None of them were pologamysts I believe. In one relationship none were married. In another there was one married couple. In all relationships there were a number of children..

Prostitution is not legal in Vegas, Reno, or Carson City Nevada....but right at the county line there is a bustling business...and Nevada does love to tax its vices...gambling, alchohol, prostitution, cigarettes, divorces and ... er...wedding chapels.

Right, the counties and cities with less than 400,000 are allowed (if they choose to), and there are at this point, 30 brothels legally functioning in Nevada. Clark county happens to not be one of them (yet despite the laws prohibiting advertisement for prostitution, Las Vegas gets around it by advertising for escort services, right next to the news stand dispensers of major American papers).

[manephelien]

I would find it totally impossible to share my man with anybody else, and I don't think I could love more than one man at a time either. That said, some could be happy with that sort of lifestyle, if the women like each other enough to work together rather than stab each other in the back.

Communal living where people routinely swapped partners was rather popular after the sexual revolution of the 1960s and before AIDS struck in the mid-80s, at least in some parts of the developed world.

[Prober]

I asked my Muslim friends about this. They said originally, it benefitted women who were widowed or who were getting a little older because it gave them a man to protect them, it kept them from prostitution, gave them children to take care of them and gave them dignity.

When considered in that light and as a genuine gesture of respect and caring for your fellow beings, it seems like a beautiful thing.

Intention is everything.

[Quahom1]

Originally Posted by Prober

I asked my Muslim friends about this. They said originally, it benefitted women who were widowed or who were getting a little older because it gave them a man to protect them, it kept them from prostitution, gave them children to take care of them and gave them dignity.

When considered in that light and as a genuine gesture of respect and caring for your fellow beings, it seems like a beautiful thing.

Intention is everything.

Follow through is everything. Intention's no matter how good, often pave the way to a worse place.

[Prober]

Originally Posted by Quahom1

Follow through is everything. Intention's no matter how good, often pave the way to a worse place.

Of course...