Parents and Parents to be.

[Vajradhara]

Namaste all,

this thread is mainly for those that have children or those that are expecting them shortly. of course, anyone is free to offer their view

generally speaking, most of us have some methods to determine the gender of the feteus prior to birth. in many cases, it is the sonogram or a 3D or 4D imaging device.

so, my question is...

did you want to know the gender of your child before it was born? why or why not?

if you aren't in an impending situation, what do you think... would you want to know?

metta,

~v

[I, Brian]

Glad to hear everything's going well, Vaj.

As for gender - certainly wanted to know. There's still a big tradition for relatives to not simply buy or make baby clothes for a relative when they hear about it - but especially to keep to blue or pink colours.

Besides, as a dad I found it hard to experience the reality of a new life coming into the world without seeing it - so a gender and name at least helps make it more real. At least for myself.

[wil]

My wife and I were 36, first timers, this gets the docs in the US excited...concerned about this problem or that with first birth at this age, they want a range of tests early, amnio and sonograms...

So we told them we didn't care, made sense to know the sex. Clothes, decorating the room, all that stuff. (again in the US boys get blue and girls get pink, if you don't know you get a lot of yellows and greens, after all a girl can't wear blue or a boy wear pink and confuse the masses)


So we are in there, she's up on the table, propped up, belly exposed and the techhie doing the sonogram perparing for the amnio as she is sliding it around we are all looking at the monitor, 'there is the baby see? And now we can see this angle, and now we can see that...hmm looks like a boy....hmmm.....hmmmm....just a minute' So she leaves, not leaves sort of hurries, hustles outta the room, leaving my wife cold and sticky with the grease on her belly, uncomforatable already about getting a six inch needle in her belly to draw fluid...and now the tech leaving abruptly...the tension mounts...

Me I'm looking at pictures on the wall of various sonograms...all sorts of angles and pictures...it helped me earlier identify the lines on the screen...I said to my wife it looked a lot like this picture once....'which one?', "the one with twins, one upside down, one rightside up"....The doc came in and said, "here is the boy....and here is a girl..." My wife said, "Tell me you are stopping write there!"

My twins are 13, and I think it was a matter of convenience knowing the sex, and allowing others to know as well. But also totally respect it as a personal choice.

lastly, I'm guessing congratulations are in order?

[Vajradhara]

Namaste all,

thank you for the posts.

thanks, Wil

my Dharma partner and i have some slightly different views towards some of that sort of thing... the babies room is already painted a dark Ametheyst and sage Green color with black highlights. we don't anticipate changing that until they complain about it later in their existence

i don't have any experience with this sort of thing so i suspect that we'll end up with lots of green and yellow stuff

we do have the names chosen already.. we've had them for quite some time now.. if it is a girl, the name will be Dahlia Grace and if it is a boy the name will be Alexander Bodhi.

metta,

~v

[lunamoth]

Originally Posted by Vajradhara

Namaste all,

thank you for the posts.

thanks, Wil

my Dharma partner and i have some slightly different views towards some of that sort of thing... the babies room is already painted a dark Ametheyst and sage Green color with black highlights. we don't anticipate changing that until they complain about it later in their existence

i don't have any experience with this sort of thing so i suspect that we'll end up with lots of green and yellow stuff

we do have the names chosen already.. we've had them for quite some time now.. if it is a girl, the name will be Dahlia Grace and if it is a boy the name will be Alexander Bodhi.

metta,

~v

I like those colors, Vaj. And the names. My older daughter is Grace Cai Gen. Her Chinese name was Ji Cai Gen. Ji, like a surname for all the babies at that Welfare Institute, means lucky. I Googled Cai Gen and found this:

Caigentan, a book written by a Chinese scholar in Ming dynasty, integrates the philosophy of Confucianism, Buddhism and Daoism. Recently, it has received a lot of attention by the Japanese business and society as a must-read classic. The philosophy of Caigentan is the art of living, a high standard for social interaction and selection of employees. The book is written as a collection of quotations, outlining Asian philosophy. In spite of some minor flaws due to historical limitation, the book is very readable. To the unseasoned, the book seems to set an unreachable standard for a self-inflicting puritan. Yet, for those who have experienced life, it certainly strikes a lot of accord. The author, Hong Ying Ming, apparently living by the same principles of the book, did not seek fame or fortune. There is little documented about his life. The name of the book is quite profoundly philosophical by itself. Vegetable roots (Cai-Gen in Chinese) are the basis for nutrition for the plant, yet the texture and taste of vegetable roots are usually unpalatable. So are the quotations in the book. They are the fundamental principles of life, quite tough to live by. Readers would agree after finishing this book. The book was published again in China in 1989.

I'm not sure how much the wisdoms of the Cai Gen Tan resonate, but it is interesting. Here's one I like:

Watch things move when you are still.
Watch people busy toiling while you are relaxed.
Then you can realize the fun of being out of this world.
Knowing how to be at ease when busy.
Knowing how to quiet down amidst noise.
That is the discipline to keep you healthy and long-lived.

As I shared with you before, we were 99% sure we would 'have' a girl. We went with pink and white, and stars.

[flowperson]

Namaste Vaj;

Wonderful news. My boy and girl are 38 and 33. You'll discover that being a parent and caring in those ways never ends.

flow....

[miclason]

The doctor confirmed my baby was a girl, but I already knew that, because I saw her laughing in a dream!

congratulations!!