Notice Any Changes?

[pseudonymous]

I am trying to introduce some new topics, so hope this is not out there somewhere. I was curious for those of you who go beyond being a hobbyist of spirituality, what are some of the physical body changes you have noticed in yourself as your awareness expands?

For me 7 years ago I was half way through a cheeseburger when every cell in my body suddenly rejected the taste of meat. I have been a lifelong meat eater, and then all of a sudden I am unable to smell, touch, eat, or watch too intently anyone else eating meat. I assume it had something to do with the spiritual journey, as it started about the same time I began exploring my abilities as a healer.

The only other standout thing is my sex drive going through major alterations. I am almost to the point that being intimate with someone would be like lying in a butcher shop getting jiggy with the sides of beef. I just cannot find anything alluring about the physical body. My libido is still (far too) active, but there has been about a 50-75% drop since my calling. Becoming asexual seemed appropriate for someone not of the world - but still in it.

Any field notes anyone wants to share?

dcv-

[Mus Zibii]

I've had similar changes. Same thing with meat. When I was a kid, from birth to age twenty I ate nothing but meat and bread. Now I can't even stand to smell meat cooking. And I have no idea why.

Similar deal with sex. I'd rather have a coversation over a salad than sex. I use to think prudes were the devil's representatives on earth. I'm not quite a prude. Just cold. Its like a handshake with a used car salesman, now.

I've stopped watching TV. I don't listen to the music I use to listen to. I suppose that's kind of proof that the changes aren't just due to maturity.

Most significantly, I've lost my moral ambiguity, but my standards are more loose than the most liberal anarchist. I'm the king of contrarianism. I have a compulsive need to play devil's advocate. Even during internal debate.

[Abogado del Diablo]

I had the same experience with meat. I had an epiphanous experience about eight years ago and within a couple of months could no longer stomach eating meat.

As far as sex is concerned, I've had the opposite experience. Throughout my teens and early adulthood, I adhered to a very conservative charismatic Christian fundamentalism and strictly repressed any sensuality. I have since married and had two children and was present at their birth. Everything about the joining in sex with my beloved, the pregnancy, the birth of the children, and watching them grow and become conscious, has been a profound experience of the beauty and joy of life.

[I, Brian]

Went through a period of ascetism in 1997 - turned myself against sex in a similar way - but it was distinctly a matter of self-perception, rather than any actual physical change. Not entirely complete, either, as though I was mentally redirected, my body remained aware.

As for meat - gave it up after an NDE, but I really have no moral issue with the eating - I just dislike the industrial harvesting of animals. It has a distinct oily taste that I don't think I could stomach now - fish is especially strong for it.

Physical changes though - the spiritual experience always seemed mental. Some of the most powerful experiences were like expansions in consciousness. In relative terms it was like jumping from having the mind of an 8-year old to a 38-year old. The difference in perspective was astounding, and almost mentally painful to reorientate within. The body always remained a vehicle, at the mercy of the driver, though.

2c.

[bananabrain]

heh. have never gone for that whole asceticism thing, but there have been times where i've felt it would be unfair to get involved with someone, but probably not for spiritual reasons, apart from the one time i was daft enough to think i could have a thing with someone who was quite devoutly catholic without her feelings getting hurt. stupid, stupid bananabrain. i had to do a lot of atoning that year i can tell you.

nowadays it's more that i would feel a lot happier about my current situation if i was married. it's important to have a well-ordered and regular sex life as an observant jew; it's a safeguard that keeps you grounded and committed and aware of your responsibilities, so you are unlikely to go off on some kind of mystical walkabout if you are firmly rooted in your relationship and anchored in a family life. i do intend to rectify this part as soon as i possibly can, so the intention is there.

as for the meat thing, i don't generally find it problematic to abstain from non-kosher meat, although there are times when charcoal-grill smells make me salivate.... but we've all got to make our sacrifices...

b'shalom

bananabrain

[Mus Zibii]

I've never tried asceticism, but I've wanted to. And if my current deal works out, maybe. I'd like to move... someplace, live on fish and bread and wine and water, sleep on a floor, no TV, radio, papers, outside contact, entertainment.

I feel the insane situation, the ever-present situation of the world thrusts religious hunger on alert people, similar to asceticism.

[I, Brian]

Originally Posted by bananabrain

nowadays it's more that i would feel a lot happier about my current situation if i was married. it's important to have a well-ordered and regular sex life as an observant jew; it's a safeguard that keeps you grounded and committed and aware of your responsibilities, so you are unlikely to go off on some kind of mystical walkabout if you are firmly rooted in your relationship and anchored in a family life.

Heh, if you want a regular sex life, don't get married!! And if you really want to be grounded in responsibility, then get a hamster, and leave it at that.

More seriously - responsibility is a way to make a lasting mark on the world via our children and familial relationships - but it helps to have an idea of who and what you actually are before you do so.

A period of solitude of sorts is a good way of learning this - being yourself as yourself, without being defined simply by other relationships around yourself. By that I mean especially keeping from the world of serial sexual/emotional relationships simply because it seems the done thing.

I'm reminded of something from Native American lore - sorry, I forget the tribe - where initiation into adulthood involves being sent alone from the group - until some form of personal revelation is attained.

I'm not sure if there are any rituals of isolation required for growth in Judaism, but Jewish culture does seems an extremely rich culture to grow within in the first place.

Ascetism is an opportunity to self-reflect within, and without the material and emotional baggage that can so easily distract us. But it is a method, not an answer in itself.

[Mus Zibii]

This is on topic in a very very abstract way, but I've been thinking about how the typical image one has of asceticism seems very much like the modern nervous breakdown. Coincidence?

[bananabrain]

More seriously - responsibility is a way to make a lasting mark on the world via our children and familial relationships - but it helps to have an idea of who and what you actually are before you do so.

well, if you're observant and have done all the learning you're supposed to have done, you should know this by the time (twentyish) you get married, at least that's what the general understanding is.

A period of solitude of sorts is a good way of learning this - being yourself as yourself, without being defined simply by other relationships around yourself. By that I mean especially keeping from the world of serial sexual/emotional relationships simply because it seems the done thing.

for this, judaism advocates abstinence and study at single-sex institutions; not ideal by any means, of course, but provided you get married quite young, the abstinence shouldn't be too much of a problem and, of course, getting married is considered, within strictly traditional circles, something that one should get on as close to 18 as possible. so we're only talking 2-3 years before you get to have a sexual relationship, which, considering most people in the UK lose their virginities about 15-16 as far as i know, isn't an enormous difference if you ask me.

I'm not sure if there are any rituals of isolation required for growth in Judaism, but Jewish culture does seems an extremely rich culture to grow within in the first place.

not isolation per se - but within the prescribed regimen for men of prayer four times a day, three of those in a minyan (prayer quorum) you should spend at least 5-10 minutes of each one of those three in personal prayer, the core of the set prayers. in the same way, you could therefore argue that judaism finds a way to give us space within our daily lives, within our groups, without us having to isolate ourselves - in fact, we are commanded not to "cut ourselves off from the community" - and being cut off spiritually, the penalty of karet, is considered worse than death itself.

of course, much of judaism is about creating barriers between the permitted and the forbidden, the sacred and the profane, but this in turn serves to remind us of the essential Oneness of creation, such that any separation we observe within it is that which we are commanded to make for ourselves. however, within this there are a multitude of separations, that of the tamei who must stay separate from the community - but only until nightfall and immersion.

the closest thing i can find to what you're talking about is the vow of the nazir (nazirite), where you're not allowed to cut your hair or touch grape products or liquor. however, you do have to atone for doing this!

b'shalom

bananabrain

[pseudonymous]

although not a physical change per se, my interactions with vajradhara on another thread got me thinking about a major change in mySelf since my awakening, which i wanted to see if anyone else has experienced. four years ago when i "woke up" the chatterbox ended. i have not had a chatterbox mind in 4 years. when i lay down to sleep at night my mind is empty of chatter, and during the day my mind does not fill with unconscious chattering (most notably during quiet moments when i used to be prone to it).

a side affect of this peaceful mind is a craving for silence, rather than boredom of lack of tittilation. i also cannot have background music or television playing. i can watch if i foscus on it alone, and i can listen if i put my earphones on and focus on the music - but just having it as a background filler no longer appeals to me.

i know this is important, because like most people i was plagued with the blah blah blahs. it was especially difficult when i first began meditation practice. now i can slip into a meditative state while walking or any other waking activity, with very little effort. i think that is because i do not have to go through that process any more of quieting the mind. as it is already quiet, i can slip in and out of transcendent states pretty much at will.

the only time the chatterbox returns is if i get overly attached to any situation (become "of" the world), and then it is fairly easy to catch mySelf "thinking asleep" and i return to the present moment. has anyone else noticed this ceasing of the chatterbox mind in their awakening? it is funny how i rarely make note of it considering how prevalent it was as a part of my life prior to awakening.

dcv-