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[ThomL1967]

Hi everyone. I am new to this forum and would like to introduce myself. I am in my early 30's, and from Pennsylvania. I am partially disabled. I also am married and have 2 step children.
I am some what depressed at this time, and to be honest am looking for some advice.
My relationship with my wife is not that great. I met her several years ago. She actually was an employee of mine. She had two children from her first husband whom she had left several times.
Since we have been together we seem to argue all of the time. She has left me several times also. One of the last times was a over a year ago. I was in the hospital prior to this, and in pretty bad condition. She left me and went back to her first husband. Durning our seperation we had still talked over the phone, and remained friends. I went to visit her twice durning this period. It was hard for me because she lives approx 400 miles away. Still going out with her ex husband at that time she had spent both nights with me, and went back to him the next day. Last summer she suggested that we get back together. I did not want to do that at that time. I gave in and did. Now it is 6 months back into our relationship, and she had left me again. I really care about her because I see good qualities in her. I basically begged her to stay. After 4 days of saying no, and moving most of her stuff back to her origional home, she finally decided to come back. I traveled with her out there and now sit in a motel waiting for her to return. Her ex husband does not want her to go back with me, as well as her parents. Right now she has been gone several hours, and I believe most of it will be with her ex husband. I still love her, and am torn apart.. Any feed back would be welcome....

[Vajradhara]

Namaste Thom,

welcome to the forum.

wow... tough situation that you find yourself in these days.

before i can even suggest a course of action, and i have one in mind, i'd like to know if you have a religous belief at this time?

my sympathies are extended to you.

[I, Brian]

Hi ThomL1967 - and welcome to CR.

I'm afraid it would be too easy to give you advice, without my knowing the situation as fully as you do.

I don't know if it would help, but perhaps trying to perceive the perspective from a more distance vantage point would help? See if you can imagine that you yourself are advising a friend in a similar situation - even imagine yourself all as guests on Jerry, Montel, or Oprah - how do you think the host and audience would advise you?

Sorry - I can't be more specific - simply the best intentioned comment I can give at this time.

[Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine]

Zdrastvuitsye, hola, shalom, salaam, Dia dhuit, namastar ji, hej, konbanwa, squeak, meow, :wave:, ThomL1967.

My personal suggestion (I also have had bad luck with relationships and a psychiatric diagnosis) is to discuss this situation with your therapist and with your psychiatrist. It might be best if you cut the strings, but I'm not the best person to ask about this. The fact that she keeps going back to her ex-husband makes me a bit leery of her motives in marrying you, but that is my personal opinion and that plus four bits gets you a three minute telephone call at a pay phone (within the local area code.) You could also talk with a marriage counsellor about this.

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine