Jokes, jokes, and more jokes ...

[dauer]

Mel Gibson is stumbling down a street in Malibu in a drunken stupor when he comes across the famous comic/writer/director Mel Brooks. "... Jew!" He manages to get out.

"Mel Brooks." comes the response with a smile and a slight bow.



Dauer

[Quahom1]

Originally Posted by dauer

Mel Gibson is stumbling down a street in Malibu in a drunken stupor when he comes across the famous comic/writer/director Mel Brooks. "... Jew!" He manages to get out.

"Mel Brooks." comes the response with a smile and a slight bow.



Dauer

Subtle, but poignant Dauer...

v/r

Q

[wil]

Originally Posted by Abogado del Diablo

YO-ELEVEN-11:

If you don't mind my asking, where did you learn that particular phrase (the bolded one)?

Quote:
Originally Posted by YO-ELEVEN-11
Maybe I should just keep my J-O-B ( Just Over Broke) and forget about the career in comedy thing.

tis very popular usage in network marketing/mlm circles...

[Abogado del Diablo]

Originally Posted by wil

Quote:
Originally Posted by YO-ELEVEN-11
Maybe I should just keep my J-O-B ( Just Over Broke) and forget about the career in comedy thing.

tis very popular usage in network marketing/mlm circles...

That's why I was asking, actually. I've known many people in mlm and they all seem to share this phrase as a normal part of their lexicon. I think it originated there.

[InLove]

Hi and Peace--

"As you may have heard, Mel Gibson was arrested in Malibu on a DUI. I don't know what he was drinking but I think you can rule out Manischewitz." --Jay Leno

[InLove]

Okay--I can't resist. One more from late-night telly:

"There are people already trying to capitalize on the Mel Gibson Jewish controversy. In fact a DVD of the arrest just came out. It's called 'Goys Gone Wild.'" –Jay Leno

[dauer]

It's Germany during WWII. The Third Reich is in power. Two Jews, Shloime and Katz, have finally come up with a way to get rid of Hitler once and for all. They've learned that every day, at a certain time, like clockwork, Adolph drives by a certain corner on his way to pick up his morning coffee. They stake out by that corner, armed with pistols and ready to take out the leader of the National Socialist Party, enemy #1 of the free world.

At 10 to the appropriate time, no Hitler.

At 5 to, no Hitler. The two of them are getting a little anxious.

It's time for him to show, still no Hitler. Shloime speaks up. "He should be here by now. What's taking him?" To which Katz responds,

"I hope nothing's happened to him."

[Jack Halyard]

Have you ever wondered where and how yodeling began?

Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of Switzerland.

Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he hadnowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouseand asked the farmer if he could spendthe night.!

The farmer told him that he could sleep in the barn.

As the story goes, the farmer's daughter asked her father, "Who is that man going into the barn?"

"That fellow traveling through," said the farmer. "needs a place to stay for the night, so, I told him he could sleep in the barn."

The daughter said, "Perhaps he is hungry." So she prepared him a plate of food for him and then took it out to the barn.

About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her clothing disheveled and straw in her hair.Straight up to bed she went.

The farmer's wife was very observant. Shethen suggested that perhaps the man was thirsty So she fetched a bottle of wine, took it out to the barn, and she too did not returnfor an hour Her clothing was disheveled, her blouse buttoned incorrectly. She also headed straight to bed.

The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued on his journey, waving to the farmer as he left.

When the daughter awoke and learned thatthe visitor was gone, she broke into tears. "How could he leave without even saying
goodbye," she cried. "We made suchpassionate love last night!"

"What?" shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the house looking for the man,who by now was halfway up the mountain.

The farmer screamed up at him, "I'm goingto get you! You had sex with my daughter!"

The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand next to his mouth, and yelled out.....

"LAIDTHEOLAIDEETOO!

[flowperson]

:

LOL....flow....

[Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine]

Originally quoted by Dorothy Parker:

"I like to have a Martini,
two at the most,
three I'm under the table,
four I'm under the host!"

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

[Quahom1]

Originally Posted by Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

Originally quoted by Dorothy Parker:

"I like to have a Martini,
two at the most,
three I'm under the table,
four I'm under the host!"

Phyllis Sidhe_Uaine

LOL and they call them the 'good ole days' in a more innocent time...lol

[YO-ELEVEN-11]

Originally Posted by Abogado del Diablo

YO-ELEVEN-11:

If you don't mind my asking, where did you learn that particular phrase (the bolded one)?

Sorry for the late response.

Yes, I actually did learn it from a MLM rally I went to once. I was actually a really fasinating thing to see all those people in the stadium wanting to not have a J-O-. I can almost say that it was a religious experience

[flowperson]

Here's one I heard on NPR today:

Did you hear about the blonde with square bosoms ? She forgot to take the tissues out of the boxes.

flow....

[Quahom1]

Four novice nuns were about to take their vows.

Dressed in their white gowns, they came into the chapel with the Mother Superior.



They were about to begin the ceremony that would marry them to Jesus,

making them brides of Christ.



Just as the ceremony was about to begin, four Hasidic Jews with long sideburns and long beards came in and sat in the front row.



The Mother Superior said to them, "I am honored that you would want to share this experience with us, but do you mind if I ask you why you came?"



One of the Jews replied, "We're from the groom's family."

[wil]

Inspired memory due to another thread where it would be inappropriate for me to add this comment there...

Roz from Last Comic Standing...

I've been Celibate for years...

I sell a bit, and give a bit away....