interfaith marriage how to

[Quahom1]

Originally Posted by phenolphthalein7

What's up ya'll? I am a Junior in high school, and I realize I've more than likely got a lot of living to do before i find that "special someone." However, at the present time, there is someone who "lights up my life." The dilemma is this: she is born and raised Mormon and I have been brought up in a Pentecostal Holiness church my entire life. If I'm not mistaken, there's a scripture in the Bible that states that Christians should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. I realize that Mormons aren't exactly unbelievers, but from what I understand (and I've dont a little research on this myself) they do have beliefs that would be questionable to a person such as myself who beleives the Bible and nothing else as the Word of God (Please don't call me out on this Mormons because for all I know, your religion may also be correct...I am certainly not attacking or condemning Mormons...I'm simply stating my beliefs and worries). I would certainly like to go forward to see if there is anything between this girl and myself, but I am not sure if this is what God would have me to do. And as always, there are two voices telling me "Go out with her" and "No, it's a mistake." But this time I'm not sure which voice is God's. I know my mother (and grandparents especially) is worried about me getting sucked into something different from what they believe...and frankly so am I for no matter how solid your faith is, there's always that possibility. I am only 17 so I am sure that my experience in this matter is nowhere near that of what others' experiences on this message board may be. I ask that you will please reply to me and please pray for me. Thank you.

Welcome to CR PHeno

You know you have already answered some of your own questions, and already understand your own position on certain issues. This is a time in your life not for "courting", but for getting to know others better. If the two of you are mutually attracted then go out on dates together (or maybe with friends), enjoy the company and keep it light, and semi neutral. While in eachother's company, listen to what is said, observe actions and reflect on them later while quietly alone. Maybe keep a journal of your own thoughts and feelings at the time (good for referencing and gaging the relationship as it progresses)

Oh yeah, the basics. Meet her at her parents' door, and have her home five minutes before her parents' expectations (e.g. she must be home by 11:00 you have her at the front door by 10:55). Open doors for her. Seat her first, or let her sit first before you. You pay for the meals, don't expect her to. Walk to the outside of the sidewalk (towards the street). Holding hands in public is charming and smiled upon, but arms wrapped around eachother like you're in a potatoe sack race is not. Treat her with the respect you feel for her, and remember she is the apple of her parents' eyes...

Enjoy eachother but take it slow and easy.

Good luck from this Parent

v/r

Q

[Paladin]

Q, I find your advice in these forums to be continually charming, delightful, and wise.

As far as interfaith relationships go, what has been said here is of great value and should provide much insight if considered mindfully. However I would like to interject just a little secular advice as well if it would not offend.
Having a common vocabulary is crucial for a couple, a lexicon if you will of ideas and modalities of emotional intelligence such as lined out by people like Daniel Goleman in his books about what it means to be emotionally intelligent. Finding this common ground, and developing a mature, and healthy way of relating doesn't just happen, it needs a plan, and that plan has to be practiced. Love will do the rest.
In my church we often pray for those who are sick or hurt, but we very much want them to get medical treatment as well!

Peace!

[ISFP]

so far i've only dated / been friends with people of different religious traditions.

i'm friends with a young jewish woman, and we did have to work out some spirituality-based kinks. i knew she had some long-standing beef with Christianity as a whole, but never said anything until she began to openly mock and rail on a good friend of mine who's entering the priesthood.

the key is communication, i think. working out individual differences, and if kids are involved, agreeing to foster their spirirtuality in a way that's healthy for them, not just congruent with what the parents may wish to enforce.

[phenolphthalein7]

Thank you very much.

[Dor]

Phenolphthalein,

2Co 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

Now that doesnt mean different faiths can not work at all...I read it more along the lines of with someone who has no faith...but believe me interfaith does definately have some concerns...take it from a man who has a morman for an ex-wife. I completely agree with Q you have plenty of time to worry about all this stuff later for now have a little fun and get to know people. But I must say if in a few yrs yall start getting serious you need to have some long conversations expecially if she is practicing. One of my wifes biggest beefs was the Morman Temple wedding. Well that for one would have required a conversion by me which one happen cause Im in that camp that says if it isnt in the Bible it isnt for me...So alot of it will all boil down to how convicted yall both are and how much yall would both be willing to concede. GL and for now just go out, have fun, get to know her and see where God leads you both.

[phenolphthalein7]

Thank you all very much for the advice and support you've given me. I am sorry for the brief thanks i gave earlier; it was certainly not enough, however this is the first time I've had the time to properly respond. So thank you, each of you, from the bottom of my heart. I figure I owe to all of you to update you on the occurences of the past few days. I have a cautious spirit every time the religion question comes up between the two of us, and I'm sensing that she does, too. I questioned her about it a couple of days ago with the all-too-famous "what if?" "What if we grow close, and in a few years, get married and have children? What then?" She avoided the question replying, "Why are you thinking about that so soon? We're not really even that close?" But I myself am not completely blameless on this topic. The very next day she questioned me about the same thing and my reply was, "I'd rather not talk about it right now. I do not feel this is the proper time." Still, I know that eventually the religion question will have to be answered. And like you, Dor, I am adament about religion: if the Bible doesn't say it, it's not for me. I'm not sure how much I would waver on this aspect, but I do know my children will not be raised mormon. Once again, thank you to all that responded. It was much appreciated!