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Philosophy General philosophy: metaphysics, ethics, the Enlightenment, and the human experience.

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Old 06-16-2007, 01:10 PM   #1 (permalink)
paul
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I'd rather cry than laugh

I was talking to soemone today, and they were laughing, and i said jokingly, "what are you laughing at."

They said "it's better to laugh than cry"

I thought on it and said, "I'd rather cry than laugh"

They said "isn't that miserable".

I've just lost someone very close to my heart, i've never really been one for crying, but going through this time of her cancer, and now her death, i cry regular thinking of her, and i want it.
I want to cry, it is in love, and memory, and missing her.

I think laughing can on many occasions be such a false thing, it can be in nerves, even in mocking, and some negative things.
I know it may sometimes be in joy, but even then, when we may be truly at our happiest, it may bring a tear to our eyes.
A true emotion of even happines, i don't think is of laugjing, i think a smile and happiness, but i think maybe at it purest may bring tears to our eyes.
What do you think?

Is it just me because i'm grieving?
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Old 06-16-2007, 01:50 PM   #2 (permalink)
ardenz
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Re: I'd rather cry than laugh

You are grieving.

Isn't it ok to cry? I've been crying lately, but not over the death of a person, but over the death of the soul of a society caught up in greed and selfishness.

Though there a kids outside nearby running and playing and laughing and that gives hope.

keep well,

Ardenz
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Old 06-16-2007, 02:00 PM   #3 (permalink)
wil
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Re: I'd rather cry than laugh

Namaste Paul,

my condolences on your loss.

I think crying can be wonderfully cleansing...

I used to fight tears...now in some moments I don't even wipe them...just let them flow...

then again I don't have any mascara issues...

not saying you do Paul.

see there...nothing wrong with laughter either..

it is all about the moment

and I agree, subsituting laughter for crying tends to bottle stuff up...

then again one of my favorite sayings...

'if you're gonna laugh about it later you may as well laugh about it now'

that has to do with embarassing moments, not moments of grief.
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Old 06-16-2007, 02:18 PM   #4 (permalink)
paul
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Re: I'd rather cry than laugh

Thank you for your replies.

Yes, i think there is a time for both, when they're in genuine love, happiness and kindness.

It must be my grief that i do find some kind of comfort more in crying at the moment than any kind of laughter.
I can still laugh a bit, but crying at the moment seems so much real to me.
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Old 06-16-2007, 03:40 PM   #5 (permalink)
InLove
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Re: I'd rather cry than laugh

Hi paul

Lifting you up in Love.

People handle grief in differing ways. It is always very personal. Sometimes culture plays a part, too. But certainly your way is just as valid as anyone else's. Of course it is okay to cry!

I have experienced grief both ways. There is often such a fine line between laughter and tears. It might help, also, to consider that some people actually try to help brighten other's hearts by finding something to laugh or smile about at times like these. I can tell you that it is my hope that when I pass on, my loved ones will be able to find something of joy to dwell on, even if they want to sit around and laugh about some of the crazy things I have done in my life. I won't order them in my last wishes to have a party if they don't feel like it, but I'd like them to celebrate whatever they can.

That said, if you feel like crying, then that is what you do. Then turn again to life, and dwell on the good things. I believe we will be reunited. I don't claim to know all the details of how that will happen, but I believe it to be so with all my heart and mind and spirit.

({hugs to you})

InPeace,
InLove
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Old 06-16-2007, 09:55 PM   #6 (permalink)
Paladin
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Re: I'd rather cry than laugh

Paul,

I didn't really understand much untill I lost my son, then I cried for two years. Now so many years later, when I think of something he might have said or something he did I can laugh and cry at the same time, which is a little strange, but very human. Stay in touch, there is a reason why grief is considered a process rather than an event.

Much Love
Mark
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