i need enlightenment?

[LIFE]

hi everyone,

i just registered to this amazing site in the hope that someone would help me. about a month ago i asked GOD into my life and was feeling quite happy about it even though i know i am comprimising my faith already.

i have lived with my only partner for 5 years and we get on quite well living together and enjoying life as one unit, however i realise that according to the bible it is wrong to live in sin and have sexual relations before marriage. we have no intention on getting married anytime soon and i realise that this is an awful sin, so you see how can i call myself a christian when i live in sin everyday.

can someone help me, what do i do, i wont change my situation so should i possibly reconsider a life with GOD?!!!! <img>

[InLove]

Hello, LIFE--Welcome to CR

If you are looking for answers from a Christian standpoint, you might find something useful in 1 Corinthians 7, or Matthew 5.

But since you posted on this board, and not the Christianity board, are you looking for diverse viewpoints? In other words, responses from individuals of a variety of faiths? If so, there are many here in CR that can contribute replies to your quandry.

I hope you find the answer that is right with your heart.

InPeace,
InLove

[LIFE]

thankyou for replying "inlove", well yes i did post it here on purpose so i could get views from all faiths and not just a christian one, i know in my heart and by reading the bible that what i do is wrong so what i am saying is should i leave this faith and find another that i am better suited to?

the passages you gave me to read are of no help as they refer to married people!!!

[InLove]

Hi, and Peace--

I see your point, LIFE. There are probably some other passages that might address your question more directly. I suggested the ones I did because they do address marriage between believer/non-believer, and I thought perhaps you might be facing this situation. In re-reading your post, I see that this is not the case. If you have no intention to marry, and are not comfortable within yourself still being a Christian, then perhaps you have really answered your own question by process of elimination.

Let me just say that Christianity, does, however allow for growth and understanding. If you are feeling the conviction of the Law as well as the conviction of the Spirit, then you have begun this growth already. God looks at the heart, and Scripture tells us, "Above all, love each other deeply, for love covers over a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8) I believe He absolutely knows what you are going through.

While I can only say that I would hesitate to make any hasty decisions about leaving your convictions behind, I will also say that I wish you peace and.....LIFE.

God bless you in your search.

InPeace,
InLove

[InLove]

Hi--me again

One more thing. I have also lived in sin in the past in regard to marriage. I am married now, but I still sin--I break at least one Commandment at least every day of my life. That is the very reason I choose Christ as the place to put my faith.

Just thought I should add that--

Now, I will free up some posting time here for others

InPeace,
InLove

[truthseeker]

Welcome to CR, LIFE.

I am Christian. I want to be in your situation so I looked for support in the bible and I didn't find any.

Different cultures have different rituals for marriage. Perhaps it is wrong for me to say, but people go to the church all the time and get married for law and the marriages don't last a year. You and your partner have been together for five. In my eyes (and soon in the government's eyes in reference to common law marriage) you and your partner are married. Some people don't need common rituals to signify the devotion necessary to be pronounced life partners. However, religiously, some people do. You have to understand who you are and where you stand. And wherever that is, don't hide from God.

[Curios Mike]

My dear brother. I eman to ask a few questions but not for my answer so you really dont have to reply. The reasons behind these questions is something you may want to ask yourself. I by all means do not know everything, nor am I the most authoritive Biblical scholar out their. But I've had to ask myself these questions and still do on accuasion.

Anyways here goes:

Did I really sensirely ask God into my life or have I taken on the form of a religion:

2 Tim 3:5
5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
KJV ((( Note: I used this paticular verse, becuase its convicted my heart. If you asked God into your heart, and your not sure that your life has truly been changed; then I would ask myself do I really know God? Granted non of us are perfect and all have sinned))

Rom 3:23-24
3 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus
NKJV

But does this mean that its ok to sin:

Rom 5:21-6:2
5:21 That as sin hath reigned unto death, even so might grace reign through righteousness unto eternal life by Jesus Christ our Lord.
6:1 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?
2 God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?
KJV
Heb 10:26
26 For if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins
NKJV

God does not fit in this world; the world will not except you especially if its Christ you've asked into your life.

John 17:14-16
14 I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. 15 I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one. 16 They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world
NKJV

Matt 10:22
22 And you will be hated by all for My name's sake. But he who endures to the end will be saved.
NKJV


3) So alot of people go around trying to find a religion that fits their on desires:

2 Tim 4:3-4
3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; 4 and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables.
NKJV

4) So we have a choice:

Mark 8:36-38
36 For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? 37 Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? 38 For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him the Son of Man also will be ashamed when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels."
NKJV

Finally) This basically some up what you will be getting into and why it is important to give all your life to God or apsolutly nothing:

Matt 24:7-13
8 All these are the beginning of sorrows. 9 Then they will deliver you up to tribulation and kill you, and you will be hated by all nations for My name's sake. 10 And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another. 11 Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. 12 And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold. 13 But he who endures to the end shall be saved.
NKJV

Its not that easy being a Christian in this world today, and its not getting any beter. So I have to ask you this when you went to ask God into your life, do you actually believe in God?... If so; if not then then now Are you absolutly sure you want God over this world? I'm not trying to talk you out of this by no means. If you believe inGod, if you really believe Jesus is his only begotton, and you really want him. Then you must :Acts 2:38-39
38 Then Peter said to them, "Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. 39 For the promise is to you and to your children, and to all who are afar off, as many as the Lord our God will call."
NKJV
REPENTANCE
A turning away from sin, disobedience, or rebellion and a turning back to God (Matt 9:13; Luke 5:32). In a more general sense, repentance means a change of mind (Gen 6:6-7) or a feeling of remorse or regret for past conduct (Matt 27:3)
(from Nelson's Illustrated Bible Dictionary, Copyright (c)1986, Thomas Nelson Publishers)

REMISSION
To be released or set free from sin (Acts 2:38; Heb 9:22). The active nature of the word for remission in the Greek language indicates that forgiveness is more than a passive act on God's part. Through the death of His Son, God has taken the initiative to break the grip of sin and set man free for a new way of life in God's Spirit.
(from Nelson's Illustrated Bible Dictionary, Copyright (c)1986, Thomas Nelson Publishers)

I've gotta go for now, but please ask more questions maybe I'll understand more where your coming from.

[LIFE]

Originally Posted by truthseeker

Welcome to CR, LIFE.

You and your partner have been together for five. In my eyes (and soon in the government's eyes in reference to common law marriage) you and your partner are married. Some people don't need common rituals to signify the devotion necessary to be pronounced life partners.

thankyou for your input everyone, this part which i have quoted from you truth seeker is the part i struggle with you see. i have been with this man for 5 years he has been my only love, the only person i have ever had sexual relations with, i always see myself as married but without the papers however i know im not, plain and simple i am living in sin, it is wrong, everyday i am sinning against christ.

i guess i sugar coat it and think to myself "well i dont go out with all the men under the sun, i dont go out drinking and sleep around, i dont cheat i stay with one man" but at the end of the day it is still sinning, and although i know the right thing to do would be to leave are marital type home and stop are sexual relations i couldnt possibly do this as i am to emotionally attached to this person and them to me, and what if i did and realised it was a huge mistake!!!

it is easy to see that as much as i love god and sing his praises and read his word because of this HUGE SHAMEFUL SIN i am not a christian, i am a disgusting sinner. i will be subjected to centuries of pain in hell because of this. but for all my days i will continue to read his word and sing his praises because i do love the LORD MY GOD forever and ever.

[lunamoth]

I hope you don't me askiing this question, but Why not get married and stop the self-flagellation?

peace,
lunamoth

[Curios Mike]

Rom 3:23-24
3 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus
NKJV

Just becuase you sin doesnt mean you are no a Christian. But the question remains(again this is what you should ask yourself) Who is 1st?

[InLove]

Hi Again, LIFE--

Well, I guess that my heart is just going out to you in such a big way that I can't leave this alone.

I may get into a bit of trouble here from my Christian brothers and sisters, but I am going to take that risk. First, I had better clarify that I am not Catholic, and while I am in the process of investigating the Vulgate, I am not well-versed in the Catholic viewpoint. I think there will be some others here later who might help in this respect. I should also say that what I call "The Old Testament" is a Christian book, so I do not know what a Jewish person might have to say about God's law concerning marriage, because from what I understand, the Torah is different than my Old Testament--I am not sure about that. Maybe someone else here knows. (There are some on vacation and other places that I am sure would know.)

I guess where I am going with this is that the in the Protestant Christian Bible, the New Testament continues the Scripture from the Old. I may have missed something, but I don't think so--I don't remember anywhere in the New Testament where the requirements for a marriage ceremony are set forth. There are guidelines for husbands and wives, but a detailed, verbatim ceremony, I do not find. I really don't remember one from the Old Testament, either--but I am thinking that there were specific requirements probably given to the Hebrews.

Therefore, if I do not know what that ceremony is, and in the event that I do not have a legal document that would satisfy the Hebrew Law, then I suppose that even though my government and my church recognize my marriage, perhaps I am unwed in G!D's sight as much as you say you are. Is this making any sense?

I don't know if God requires a piece of paper from the government of any country (or church, for that matter--I know that is going to get my hand slapped) I believe that what matters most to Him is what is in your heart. I believe He knows what is in the heart of every person.

Now, I know I have not given you an answer that is easy to pin down. But I felt compelled to say these things, anyway--and maybe I can learn right along with you when and if you receive some other replies.

(Editing myself again --There have been a couple of posts added while I was posting this, and they make pretty good points, as well--if it bothers you so much, why not get married (lunamoth), and we are commanded to love God first (curios mike).

Also, I just want to say that in case what I said looks to some like rationalization, that is not my intent. The issues I bring up are things I really would like to know, and when that knowledge comes out, then maybe it will help LIFE as well.)

InPeace,
InLove

[LIFE]

he does not want to get married, he doesnt see the point, he thinks it is ridiculous to need a piece of paper to get married, plus i dont see the point in doing it, he is not a christian so he would be getting married because i want to and not cause he wants to, he would be doing it for the wrong reasons!!!!

[Awaiting_the_fifth]

Hello LIFE and welcome to CR.

I am not a christian so I do not know if my answer will be of any great use to you, but you did say you wanted perspectives of other faiths.

Buddhism is the only major religion that I know of which does not require marriage but I sense that such a change would not be possible for you because religion is in your heart, and the religion in your heart is Christianity.

Having said this, try to remember that the bible was not written by God, but by man, and it is fallable. (I think this is the opinion of most sects of Christianity.) The actual word of the bible is not, in my own humble opinion, so important. I would say that what is important is that the way you live your life seems right in your own heart. It must feel right to you, and you alone.

For example,

Originally Posted by LIFE

i am a disgusting sinner

Is this the way you feel or have others told you this?

Originally Posted by LIFE

i know in my heart .... that what i do is wrong

I think you need to think long and hard about this statement. Do you really, truly feel that what you do is wrong? Take some time over this, because this is where you will find your ultimate answer. If you really feel that it is wrong, then it is wrong for you. If you feel that it is right, then it is right.

I must say that it is my personal opinion that you are not committing any wrong deed, the Christian God of my childhood would not have been angry with you.

[InLove]

Dear LIFE--

I had a feeling it might be something like that. In that case, you really do have some other issues to deal with. My heart and my prayers are with you, even though I do not know you face-to-face.

All I can say is that each one of us must be true to our own hearts--what that Spirit inside us tells us. Keep the faith, and I know you will come to an understanding of what is right for you.

InPeace,
InLove

[InLove]

One more for this afternoon, and I have to log out for a while. I have been kind of looking for Awaiting_the_fifth or perhaps some others here that could say something from a Buddhist point of view. I think this may be what you were asking in the first place, LIFE.

Just a thought (and I may get my other hand slapped for this), but you say your partner of five years--someone you have been faithful with (my dear, from what you tell us, you are more chaste than most people, if this has been your only sexual partner all your life) is an "unbeliever"? Well, then, I refer you back to the Scripture I mentioned in the first place.

I know more than one couple who amazingly manage to stay together in these types of circumstances. When you say "unbeliever", I do not know exactly what that entails. If you want to remain a Christian, it does not necessarily mean that you must separate from the love of your life. That, I believe, is Scriptural.

Gotta go for now,

InPeace,
InLove