Do you call yourself a Christian?

[Paladin]

Originally Posted by flowperson

Hello Mark:

I was moved by what you had to say and can only wholeheartedly agree with the path that you have decided upon. Since I've been stumbling along a similar path for the better part of the last twenty years, I would urge you to continue to seek. There are answers and there is harmony in Christianity, but I have always been surprised by them when I have happened upon them. Disciplines and enforcements are never the gateways to hidden understandings, but the offering up of the self to the altar of spiritual understanding is. There is only one in the end.

I am reminded of a blessing used quite often by a pastor of mine during some very difficult times in my life.

"G-d go with you. May He walk where you walk, comfort you when you hurt, guide you when you must make choices...and surprise you with His love for you, who you are, and what you do."

flow....

Flow,

Thank you my friend, your advice is well met, and your intent is most loving.

Peace
Mark

[path_of_one]

Originally Posted by Paladin

Now, I think I have a grasp of what it was I was missing. In reading the words of the great Christian mystics I found a lanquage nearly identical to Lao Tsu, Hui Neng, and others. Except here was something that took me beyond even their teachings, wonderful though they were. There was a connection there in the old Christian writings that touched my heart/mind in a way that even deep Zen meditaion could not.
Maybe I'm just hardwired somehow to need this, and maybe others need a different path, I surely don't know. As a matter of fact there is a dearth of things I no longer know, but somehow it seems okay. It seems okay to be completely ignorant and in touch with part of myself that is still innocent in a way. This part of me that feels content to ponder the mystery of Christ. I may never get to say "I know" again ever, but in my heart, that feels okay.

Peace
Mark

Mark, I wish you great joy and peace in your journey to Catholicism. Your posts touch my heart, and express a good deal of my own thoughts and feelings as well. Though I hold dear many religious writings from many different faiths, and have found helpfulness in many practices (including Zen meditation), I too have always felt a deep pull to Christ. As time has continued, I have more and more come to a place in which God has allowed me to embrace the mysteries and be OK with not "knowing" things. I form my opinions, but I'm aware and getting more comfortable each day that they are not permanent and that I really know very little about anything. But fortunately it doesn't stop me from being able to grow in Christ and to follow His teachings.

I have also been gradually coming to a place in which I have thought it may be best for me to join a church, despite problems with organized religious entities of any kind (because they're human institutions, and we all have problems). I find in the Episcopal church, which is so similar to Catholicism, an opportunity to celebrate the mystery of God and a place to be renewed, if I focus my attention on God and not on the politics that currently surrounds Christianity. When I enter church with the right focus, I leave feeling a deep peace and joy, similar to when I meditate but better, because you have also the energy of a whole congregation of folks that are focused on God.

It's hard to express, but I do find there is value for me in what can only be done properly in a church body- the Eucharist, and praying together as one voice, and being a part of a group of folks that is redirecting their focus toward God.

I may ever be a path of one in some respects, but I am learning that there might be a niche for me in the church and that it may be proper for me to persevere in finding it, even if I meet resistence and obstacles.

Path/Kim