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Old 02-27-2004, 02:13 AM   #136 (permalink)
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-The 19 Rules for Good Riting:
1. Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.
2. Just between you and I, case is important.
3. Verbs has to agree with their subject.
4. Watch out for irregular verbs which has cropped up into our language.
5. Don't use no double negatives.
6. A writer mustn't shift your point of view.
7. When dangling, don't use participles.
8. Join clauses good like a conjunction should.
9. And don't use conjunctions to start sentences.
10. Don't use a run-on sentence you got to punctuate it.
11. About sentence fragments.
12. In letters themes reports articles and stuff like that we use commas to keep strings apart.
13. Don't use commas, which aren't necessary.
14. Its important to use apostrophe's right.
15. Don't abbrev.
16. Check to see if you any words out.
17. In my opinion I think that the author when he is writing should not get into the habit of making use of too many unnecessary words which he does not really need.
18. Then, of course, there's that old one: Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.
19. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.
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Old 02-27-2004, 02:16 AM   #137 (permalink)
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-H. L. Mencken's Law:
Those who can -- do.
Those who cannot -- teach.
-Martin's Extension:
Those who cannot teach -- administrate.
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Old 02-27-2004, 02:18 AM   #138 (permalink)
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-Hanlon's Razor:
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
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Old 02-27-2004, 02:28 AM   #139 (permalink)
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-Issawi's Law of Aggression:
At any given moment, a society contains a certain amount of accumulated and accruing aggressiveness. If more than 21 years elapse without this aggressiveness being directed outward, in a popular war against other countries, it turns inward, in social unrest, civil disturbances, and political disruption.

-Issawi's Law of Dogmatism:
When we call others dogmatic, what we really object to is their holding dogmas that are different from our own.

-Issawi's Laws of Progress:
1. The Course of Progress: Most things get steadily worse.
2. The Path of Progress: A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.
3. The Dialectics of Progress: Direct action produces direct reaction.
4. The Pace of Progress: Society is a mule, not a car... If pressed too hard, it will kick and throw off its rider.
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Old 02-27-2004, 02:39 AM   #140 (permalink)
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-Laws of the Frisbee:
1. The most powerful force in the world is that of a disc straining to land under a car, just beyond reach. (The technical term for this force is "car suck".)
2. The higher the quality of a catch or the comment it receives, the greater the probability of a crummy return throw. ("Good catch. . . Bad throw.")
3. One must never precede any maneuver by a comment more predictive than, "Watch this!" (Keep 'em guessing.)
4. The higher the costs of hitting any object, the greater the certainty it will be struck. (Remember: The disk is positive; cops and old ladies are clearly negative.)
5. The best catches are never seen. ("Did you see that?" "See what?")
6. The greatest single aid to distance is for the disc to be going in a direction you did not want. (Wrong way = long way.)
7. The most powerful hex words in the sport are: "I really have this down -- watch." (Know it? Blow it!)
8. In any crowd of spectators at least one will suggest that razor blades could be attached to the disc. ("You could maim and kill with that thing.")
9. The greater your need to make a good catch, the greater the probability your partner will deliver his worst throw. (If you can't touch it, you can't trick it.)
10. The single most difficult move with a disc is to put it down. ("Just one more!")
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Old 02-27-2004, 02:51 AM   #141 (permalink)
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-Manley's Maxim:
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
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Old 02-27-2004, 02:53 AM   #142 (permalink)
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-Marshall's Universal Laws of Perpetual Perceptual Obfuscation:
1. Nobody perceives anything with total accuracy.
2. No two people perceive the same thing identically.
3. Few perceive what difference it makes -- or care.
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Old 02-27-2004, 02:56 AM   #143 (permalink)
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-May's Mordant Maxim:
A university is a place where men of principle outnumber men of honor.
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Old 02-27-2004, 03:20 AM   #144 (permalink)
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"Just because you are paranoid, doesn't mean they are not out to get you."
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Old 02-27-2004, 03:26 AM   #145 (permalink)
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-The Point of No Return Law:
The light at the end of the tunnel could turn out to be the headlight of an oncoming train.
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Old 02-27-2004, 03:28 AM   #146 (permalink)
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-Pope's Law of Retroactivity:
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
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Old 02-27-2004, 03:34 AM   #147 (permalink)
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-Proverbial Law:
For every proverb that so confidently asserts its little bit of wisdom, there is usually an equal and opposite proverb that contradicts it.
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Old 02-27-2004, 03:36 AM   #148 (permalink)
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-Puritan's Law:
Evil is live spelled backwards.
-Corollary:
If it feels good, don't do it.
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Old 02-27-2004, 03:42 AM   #149 (permalink)
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-Robert Lee's Truce:
Judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from poor judgement.
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Old 02-27-2004, 03:47 AM   #150 (permalink)
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-First Rule of Rural Mechanics:
If it works, don't fix it.
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