Compassion for the Unethical

[Zaknafein]

Hello everyone! I'm looking for guidance about a spiritual issue that I've had for a long time and I've been trying to resolve it. I appreciate anything you have to offer -- even if its a semi-unrelated or incomplete answer.

My problem is that I have high ethical standards and I live in a world that I perceive of as often morally mediocre. I expect wrongs to pop up from time to time in the general population, but whenever I check out the news and the state of the world, I see humans again and again choosing to abuse each other for what I consider arbitrary and meaningless reasons. I live in the United States, so a simple, low-key example that I can give you is that my country denies homosexuals the right to marriage. To me, this comparable to the old Jim Crow laws that denied basic rights to African Americans.

Whenever I start thinking about things like this, it makes me upset and eventually angry. I don't take out my anger on anyone, but it just feels like an unproductive state to be in. What I'm trying to figure out is A) if my anger is actually a bad thing, and if it is B) how can I develop a more compassionate attitude toward those who are unethical.

[Francis king]

well... as far as I can see, ur anger is not a bad thing- if ppl didnt get angry about injustices it'd be a sorry state of affairs... as for trying to be more compassionate... understanding where ppl are coming from helps... and it doesn't mean that u have to agree with them... for instance... my da was a racist... I battled with him for years trying to convince him that his opinions were flawed, and that these black folks he hated with such a passion where really no different from himself, but it was like banging my head upon a brick wall... eventually, as I aged, I realised that the opinions he held where not really his own, but had been impressed upon him by the age and the times he lived in... when he was a young man growing up in birmingham in the 50's and 60's he was heavily influenced by Mosely and his rivers of blood speeches, he had never had the chance to socialise with non-whites, and so he viewed them as alien, other, different, and the majority of the white working class men he associated with shared the same opinions... rather than his racism be a personal thing, he was simply parroting back that which had been told to him, and over time, the constant repetition and reaffirmation of these ideas without these ideas being challenged or refuted had led him to be a racist... one day, I caught him sat in front of the TV, crying... the news covered a famine in a part of africa, and so I asked him why he was crying... he was crying becuase he was upset that these ppl were dying for want of food, he said, and I realised that yeah, he was a racist, but hey, he was still a human being after all, and if he could have packaged up his dinner and sent it over, he would have, and if a black family would have moved in next door he would have spoken to them, greeted them on the doorstep in the morning when picking up his milk, and not because he was a hypocrite, but because he was just a daft human...

[Caimanson]

Your anger can be a bad thing, if say it is a reaction of childhood bad experience or bad upbringing that is unresolved.
In any case if it makes you angry all the time is certainly not healthy.

As far as I understand, a healthy individual will not be upset by the trials and limitations of humanity. Ideally one should embrace it all and learn to solve problems, to deal with losses, to manage painful experiences in a constructive way, to be more real with himself and others.
From personal experience I can say that it is very difficult to be embracing of everything, particularly of humanity, but that is just me. When you are polarised, splitting between good/bad all the time, it becomes very tiring and unproductive.

Francis gave a good example, the racist looking himself up the mirror of humanity. You too can perhaps look in the mirror and realise that you are not that different from those that you call unethical.