A Last Request

[Ciel]

Quahom,

Last two posts of yours pretty outrageous, but appreciated.

[Quahom1]

Originally Posted by Ciel

Quahom,

Last two posts of yours pretty outrageous, but appreciated.

I tell you in all honesty and forthrightness...it is what I would do (and have done similar things in the past), if it were my father...but then I have a known love/hate relationship with the church...

And dad comes first and foremost. Church elders be tarred.

v/r

Q

[lunamoth]

Originally Posted by Ciel

Lunamoth,

Thank you.

My father was 86 and knew it was time, he is released from life now. And no longer walking his poor sad old body. I wonder might you understand I celebrate his liberation. In hospital they still tried to prolong his passing when I wished he could have been left to die peacefully in the arms where love cradled him, at home, that is the real sadness. This death, this life, I watched him in the labours of death as a woman labours bringing new life into the world, and a woman is not given hospital assistence to prolong birth in a natural process, why should death be prolonged when it is imminent?

He is now at peace.

Hi Ciel, I do appreciate that. 'twould be best if we could all die peacefully surrounded by our loved ones. Sometimes death comes too sudden or soon which is hardest on those left behind. But I know that sometimes death is welcomed and a blessing, especially after a long illness or decline. You and yours are in my prayers tonight.

peace,
lunamoth

[InLove]

Hi Dear Ciel,

I haven't had as much time on CR as usual the past few days, and so I just read this thread. First of all, I want you to know that in my heart, I lift you and your family up to the light of Love--this Love that sees it all, unlike some who claim it but cannot seem to let it flow out to others. I wish with all my heart that you were not being faced with this ridiculous hardship at the time of your dear father's passing. The systems that humans design in the name of religion and healthcare and so on--sometimes the noblest of efforts turn into the most absurd practices.

I hope you can come to a solution that will be appropriate and satisfactory. In the meantime, I know you are a person who looks for the peace in any situation, and so remain in that blessing, and remember your dad in this way. No one can take that away!

All my love,

InPeace,
InLove

[Scarlet Pimpernel]

Ciel,

others more articulate have already said what I am feeling. I am sorry you are put in this situation and my heart goes out to you. You are in my prayers.

I agree with Q, go to the Archdiocese.

[wil]

Some thoughts...

One cannot stop one from giving any gift. However how one receives the gift is the choice of the receiver.

Without making a fuss of it...two services. The church does what it feels it must do. Just as anyone walking through the cemetary in the future, may say prayers or blessings over anyone and everyone's grave, we have no choice in this matter.

However you can listen to the service, with the ear of one 'listening' for those words your father would recognize as true, 'hearing' the other words without rejection allowing it to flow beyond you and your father.

And then when the church completes and fullfills their required ceremony allow a time and space for family and friends that know his wishes to celebrate his life as he would like...


86, how joyous, and to have you loving and caring for him and his wishes at this time, what a blessing you are. And I agree with your comments on birth and life and death. Hospice and honoring death is growing in the US, societies all treat this, the culmination of life so differently, often times not wishing to face it, tis a shame.

[juantoo3]

Kindest Regards, Ciel!

I am very sorry for your loss. You and yours are in my prayers. I wish you well whatever way you choose to solve this. I wish I had decent advice to offer, others here have offered far more than I could.

[Ciel]

To say, thank you all,

It,s been quite a time, but things are proceeding, and now it feels things are proceeding in the right way. It shall be two services, the first at a non-denominational ancient chapel on land I always considered blessed, and with a humanist minister. And he shall be played out to Rhapsody in Blue, Gershwin, though we won't be forgetting, Somewhere over the rainbow too.

Then to the awaiting double grave, assisted by the church of england canon, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

I called the Archdeacon, the Archdeacon, called back, answer machine to answer machine,so far.But he sounds caring, I look forward to speaking to him, human to human.

And this is the human approach, the need for a greater understanding and bridge between the church and 21st century spirituality.

There is one prayer I have included in the service;

God, give us serenity to accept what cannot be changed,
courage to change what should be changed,
and wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

Thank You.